Insomnimusing: Allons-y!

I discovered today that I am officially at "that awkward age." Ok, so there are lots of "awkward ages," I suppose. But anyway, I'm at one of them, no question. I am fast approaching my 37th birthday (ouch!), but I still look young enough that I've been ID'd twice in the past week. I was even told at my last job by one of the old lady volunteers that she thought I was one of the TEEN volunteers. So I look young. But my, um, outlook, I guess, is right on target or beyond. I've always been older than my age. I was correcting the grammar of my family members when I was 4. I was actively interested and involved in politics by the time I was 8 (and I was in a completely apolitical family, btw). I'd read most of the works of Shakespeare - just for fun - by the time I was 12. You get the idea, so enough with the preamble. The thing is, when it comes to men, I still look at a 24 year old as a perfectly legitimate target and completely within my range. But...

My Man United boys won over Arsenal today - thank goodness - and I think Ryan Giggs owes Diaby a drink after this one. I'll admit I was getting nervous after the first half. Rooney's PK made me feel a whole lot better, but that little blunder by Diaby had me ECSTATIC. I managed to catch bits and pieces of the Inter win over AC Milan too. 4-0. Very nice (as The Special One would say). :)

A little late, but it's still..... Flashback Friday - with Def Leppard's Photograph.

I'm feeling a little short-tempered today, and I couldn't really tell you why. I suspect that some of it's probably got to do with being cooped up again without much purpose. A good portion of it is probably that I am DAMN TIRED of being alone. I was having a chat with my friend D yesterday and all was going along pretty happy schmappy until I suddenly snapped at him out of the blue. I thought about it more today and rather than feeling guilty, I just got more ticked off. I woke up early this morning and did a little work that needed to be done - but not as much as I should have. I feel zero motivation right now. I've just taken the girls off to spend the night at their dad's house. I came home and poured myself a glass of wine. I think maybe I'll drown myself in it tonight. Why not?

TruTV used to be Court TV in the United States, but now it's got a whole lot more than just courtroom drama and crime shows. The channel's now about "caught on video" reality shows, or what TruTV calls "actuality television." If you like shows like "Iceroad Truckers" and "Deadliest Catch," you should see the show truTV BLACK GOLD by the same creators. It's starting its second season on TruTV and can be seen Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern. The show takes the cameras to the oilfields of West Texas where the some of the toughest (and might I add - HOTTEST) guys on the planet are working on one of the most dangerous jobs there is. This year, the season focuses on Rig 28 and the quest for these roughnecks to drill four holes in 50 days to save the lease on a valuable piece of land before it expires. truTV BLACK GOLD characters include: Day Crew - Jeremy "PeeWee" Smith - he's short and short-tempered, but he's earne...

The sky was blue, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, I had plenty of work to do, and LIVERPOOL LOST. Sounds like a good day to me. :) I drove an hour to get to a council meeting I had to cover - and I got there half an hour early. Then the meeting only lasted half an hour. Another hour's drive home to write the story. I still almost missed my deadline because Z popped up for a chat, I made food, then I got a phone call from a woman who writes for our paper too. At least it was a really easy story to write. Pretty much no-thought-required. I like thinking - I do - but I'll take an easy one over a tough one for the same money. Why not? Tonight's the last night before the girls start school on Wednesday. Gin decided that she was going to go to bed at nine o'clock starting Sunday. Needless to say, that hasn't happened. Not even close. Surprise, surprise - they're still up now at....11:17. I'm still up too, of course. I don't sleep this early - when...

I've decided to adopt that as my new motto: Enjoy the journey. Even if you don't know where you're going, enjoy the journey. I'm trying to embrace life. Some interesting possibilities have arisen. Of course, each time, it seems that something falls through, and those possibilities fail to come to fruition. But it's not as if I've lost anything, really. You can't miss something that you never had. I'd been thinking about a trip to Seattle to see G when he came around. But now he tells me the trip might not happen. So I'd been planning on it, but if it's not going to happen, it's not going to happen. I wasn't able to make the trip the last time he came over from England earlier this year. Of course, now I sort of wonder if it would have happened even if I had managed to work things out on my end. I guess, if it were meant to happen, it would. I've still got a trip to Tampa to possibly look forward to - if that can happen. Ironically, I ...

I'm up and watching football again - of course, it's Sunday and it's in season. I started out watching the Burnley game. Ordinarily, I wouldn't be interested, but after Man United's loss to them midweek, I thought I should keep my eyes open to see what they were up to. (They're leading at the moment 1-0 over Everton). Of course the game I'm really interested in is the Chelsea match against Fulham. Chelsea's up 1-0 right now at the half. I didn't get to watch the Man United game yesterday. I was able to watch the first half hour, but then I had to leave to go do my usual Saturday thing (pick up Book, lunch at my mom's, etc.) I sent out a plea on Facebook and Twitter for someone to keep me updated. Fortunately, D was online, so he sent me updates with every goal. 5-0 for Man United!!!!! Even though I didn't get to see it - and it would have been waaay more exciting if I had - it was still awesome to get updates every couple of minutes saying ...

Can I be blamed for a spontaneous gut reaction? Or more accurately, I suppose, it should be called a spontaneous (and unwelcome) heart reaction. My daughter Gin has been watching episodes of a certain TV show online on Netflix for a while now. She likes the show. I don't blame her. I like it a lot too. We both thoroughly enjoyed season one and watching the episodes again through the last couple of weeks. But she started in on season two tonight. Not all of the episodes are viewable online, but we were watching the ones we could. And then it started. (If you're familiar with my past as chronicled here, you know I used to be involved with an actor. I can't really think of an appropriate term. It lasted nearly three years - although it was really the last year of it that finally consumed my soul. It consumed every part of me. I was in love with him as I have never been before. And he loved me too. We spent little physical time together, but we spent nearly every moment connec...

I finally got word from the office of unemployment today about my eligibility for benefits. The official determination is that I was "discharged without just cause." Damn right I was. So I'll be getting paid, at least, and I'll be able to stay in my house. I was really figuring if I didn't hear something soon, I wouldn't have any choice but to move back in with my mother. Nobody wants that. Of course, she might have NOT wanted it enough that she'd dig into her secret stash of cash to pay my rent for a while for me. Fortunately, it looks like it won't be coming to that now. (Not that my mom wouldn't want to have me really - more than anything, she doesn't want the kids to have to be around my stepdad's loser, drunken friends all the time.) I had a bit of a downer earlier today (you might have noticed), but that bit of news perked me up again. It's not so hopeless now, anyway. Besides, why should I let some stupid BOY spoil my mood? Ok, m...

Bringing together two true icons of the era for Flashback Friday - it's The Police and Bono performing Invisible Sun

I am going to stop thinking that I've got anything figured out. It seems even the smallest or simplest thing never goes the way I thought it would, so why on earth should I ever believe that something big is going to work the way I expected? I should forget the single-minded focus. Something's always going to come along to throw a wrench in the works. And expectations? Forget it. Fantasy? Just foolish. How about some realism? Even that's going to go haywire. Expect the unexpected. But then it's no big surprise. Expect disappointment? Yeah, probably most of the time. That's a little closer to the mark I think. I got my hopes up. Always a mistake - even in the short term. So now there's something new on the horizon. Any real potential in it? Who knows? What's real anyway?

From the eyes of my computer: I was thinking this was an easy gig when I got here. The boss (she's the one who pays the bills, so I guess she's the boss) spends most of her time on her work laptop, then there's a couple of kids, too young to need a computer for much of anything. So I figured I'd just be hanging out most of the time. The kids would play a few cutesy kiddie games, and we'd all be cool. Fast forward a couple of months: the boss switches jobs, so her old laptop computer's gone, and I'm up for the big show. Then when she's not working on me, the kids are right there - and I mean RIGHT THERE ! "Mom, can I get on the computer? Mom can I get on the computer?" The boss pounds out what work she can and turns me over to the wee ones. Then it's all these crazy games with crazy graphics, and videos, and pictures .... and you know they're even building and running FOUR separate worlds. It's a lot to ask of a computer, you know. F...

I got up earlier than I needed to, thanks to my state of extreme sleepiness last night leading to my miscalculation of how much time I would need to get ready this morning, write a post and drive in to Sidney. At least it took the pressure off the morning, and I was able to swig down a cup of coffee before starting out. Of course, then I arrived for the county commissioners' meeting scheduled for 9:30 this morning only to be told that it would be held in executive session, so I couldn't attend. I left my number to be called later, so I could talk to them about the thing I was there for in the first place. I drove over to my daughters' friends house to pick them up after spending the night last night and came out to find a message saying I could go back to the commissioners office. Great. I dropped the girls off at home, then drove another 30 minutes back in. When I got there, they realized, "Well, you don't really need us for this. You can talk to the auditor....

Hey moms, students, business people .... everybody! Want a chance to win a free laptop computer? Yes, of course you do. Charter Communications is at it again, following up on their hugely successful HDTV-a-day sweepstakes with a massive Laptop-a-Day Sweepstakes running from July 15 to Sept. 15. Don't miss out on this opportunity to sign up and win a new laptop! While you're at the site, check out the great online deals they've got going for cable, phone and internet service, including high-speed internet for just $19.99 a month. And if you sign up for service, you can get a $100, $75 or $25 gift card for free! The laptop they're giving away every day is an HP 550 Notebook PC with a 2 gig Intel Celeron processor, 160 GB hard drive, 15.4-inch display, DVD +/- RW drive, three USB ports, wireless broadband connectivity, high-definition audio, and Windows Vista Home Basic. And a NeoTec Computer Backpack. The prize pack has an approximate retail value of $415. In all, 63 lap...

I'm exhausted. Who could have known that two and a half hours in a dull school board meeting in a cafeteria that's about 95 degrees with no moving air could make a person so tired? Oh wait, that makes sense now. I woke up at 6:30 this morning for some unknown reason, but I actually managed to roll over and fall asleep again. I slept until 11! That hasn't happened in a looong time. I think my recent lack of sleep is catching up with me. I got my little boon this morning that just might make a cheap little trip (but a long awaited and much needed one) possible, so that started off the day well. Then I got to watch some football - AC Milan vs. Juventus (1-1). Not my favorite Italian teams, but they'll do in a pinch. G says I need to forget about Man United. No way! But I do support Inter for him. They're my second favorites, but I don't think I'll be entirely shifting my loyalties any time soon. :) I'm just glad another season's begun, and I get to ind...

I hate taking medications. Whenever possible, I'd rather go for a natural solution. Probiotics are fantastic! More often than not it seems that problems with your body are just caused by things being out of balance. Anyone who's ever been on a course of antibiotics and then found all sorts of problems cropping up afterward knows what I mean. Those prescriptions can kill off the bad bacteria that's causing a problem, but they also kill off the good bacteria that we need. Usually, as long as the good bacteria is being allowed to do its job, the bad stuff doesn't stand a chance. For a good probiotic dietary supplement that will help keep your body's natural system of bacteria in balance, try threelac . It helps improve the body's immune system so it can fight for itself, as it's meant to. It also improves digestion and increases the body's absorption of vitamins and minerals, as well as prevents overgrowth of harmful bacteria. Ladies, if you've ever bee...

If you want something badly enough, you find a way to make it happen. I want this badly enough, I have decided that I will make it happen. My dear friend G is coming back to the United States soon. Yet again, the timing is really lousy, but this time, I'm not letting that stand in my way. We keep trying to get together (he's living in London and I am here in the none-too-appealing Midwestern U.S., so you can imagine that it's a bit of a challenge), but circumstances always seem to get in the way. This time, I'd set my mind that I would find a way to visit when he made it to my side of that accursed pond. This morning I received a bit of a boon that would set me close enough to my goal that I can almost say it's a done deal. I still need to find out the details of the visit. I'm hoping the exact timing doesn't create too much difficulty in working it out. But I almost have to find a way around any roadblock that might be set before me now. This is an importan...

I had the best possible start to my day today - at least in my sad, pathetic little world. :) I woke up early to watch the Man United game, and my boys won! Naturally they won; it was just against Birmingham, after all. Of course, I missed the ONE goal (yay Rooney!) while I was down making myself a cup of coffee. Ah well, they won. Three points to start off the season. I'll take it. I followed that up with the Liverpool/Tottenham game, because, of course, I can never get enough footie! That was a good one as well, seeing as Liverpool lost and all. Go Spurs! I'll support anyone who's playing against Liverpool, you know. :D After the games, it was time to take Book home.....that's when things got bizarre. My ex-husband No. 1 (we were married for about five minutes.... it was a spontaneous sort of youthful adventure thing) calls me from the door, "Wait a sec!" What's this? We never TALK - I just drop off the boy and go on my way. He's standing there with ...

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