Fiction silliness

I was going through some old e-mails trying to clean up my mailbox, which is now at nearly half capacity, even with all the crap I've dumped already.

In the process, I came across a challenge from a fellow writer pal to write the worst opening sentence for a work of fiction, inspired by the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest.

My submission:

As the illiterate, fat, out-of-work actress sat in her popcorn costume, munching away at her French fries and poised to strike at the sleeping vampire, she could not help but think that she might have misinterpreted what she thought was a menu board reading, "10 oz. stake, choice of potato, and role with butter."


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday dinner: Garth Brooks' mother's cabbage rolls

Image
So, last weekend at my mother's house, mom, the girls and I got onto the subject of food - naturally - and Gin mentioned that she would like more things with cooked cabbage. ... Yeah, I know, right? But I mentioned that really the only way I like cooked cabbage - other than in the form of saurkraut over some bratwurst - is the cabbage rolls my mom makes. She dug out the recipe, so that had to go on the menu. This particular recipe I don't claim as my own, or even my mother's. She found it years ago somewhere, touted as the recipe for cabbage rolls that Garth Brooks said his mother made for him. I looked it up online and saw it appear in a few forums, but I didn't see an "original" anywhere, so I thought I'd go ahead and list it here, too. If objections happen to come down the pike at some point, I'll be more than willing to take it down, if there are copyright issues or something. I'd love to credit the original source, but I don't know wha
Read more

As promised, my rant against the gay marriage bans

Image
I haven't taken the time to outline this post, so it will probably start to wander all over the place. Consider yourself warned. But here's my rant on California's Prop 8 and the two other gay marriage bans that were enacted by the voters on Tuesday. Let's go over the standard arguments against gay marriage, and I'll address them one by one. (Thanks to the jackasses at nogaymarriage.com for making this easier.) Maybe it'll help keep this a little more organized, but I still don't promise not to stray a bit. * God says it's bad, according to the Book, anyway. We have no business legalizing behavior prohibited by God. Alright, I'm going to get the God argument out of the way right now. We're not talking about church doctrine, we're talking about law - as in man's law. The church doesn't apply on a legal issue. Each church has the right to decide whether or not they will bless the union of a same-sex couple or a heterosexual couple, but
Read more