Got through the first day...


I slept for half an hour Sunday night - or really Monday morning - just long enough to get to wake up the realization that I am alone. How pathetic that sounds. I can't eat. I'm not sure where to begin. The ripples haven't even begun. I'm a little afraid to even go outside. He's everywhere. Or he's just in me. Either way, I don't know quite how to escape him.
I sat for a time and wept in the arms of my babies yesterday. Then I played tennis with my daughter for a little while. Then I took my girls to lunch (I managed to eat half a small side salad - that was all for yesterday except a rice cake last night.) I made a quick trip to the grocery store. I can't believe how BAD this feels - even though I know that I deserve better and that he is not shedding a tear for me.
I'm so grateful for the support I have received. Thank you to those of you who know who you are. I've discovered real friendship where I did not recognize it before - and I see much more. Thank you for the hope.
I got through Day One. I'm beginning Day Two. Still feel like I'm afflicted with some malaria/flu mash-up, but we'll see how it goes. Even already this morning, my friends have been there. Wow.
(I will try not to turn this into one of those brooding recovery from a failed relationship blogs - just give me a few days, ok? I will return to my effervescent irresistibility. Hehe.)


Comments

Kat said…
It always tough to go through I know, hang in there and belive that it will all work out in the end, you never know your prince charming may be waiting for you too
May 27, 2008 at 10:43 PM
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