"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Friday, July 31, 2009

Flashback Friday - Karma Chameleon

I couldn't post the actual video, but here's a 1983 performance by Culture Club of their hit Karma Chameleon, just for Flashback Friday.

Catching up

I've begun my quest for independent wealth. Okay, not exactly. But I've gone and completed the paperwork for another paper to do some freelance work for them. Between that paper and my other one, I've got three assignments for next week. It's not a lot - not at all - but it will help.

This week's flown by, but I've gotten a lot done. It's been a lot of catching up on all of the things that have been neglected for three months. I'm actually almost caught up with the laundry! I've even been able to cook this week and feed my kids (and myself) properly for a change. It's been pretty much nothing but insta-meals for them for quite a while now. I've felt awful about it, you can be sure. They're definitely happy to have mom's cooking again.

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Man, I've got some catching up to do

Okay, so apparently I've got some serious catching up to do on my football.

I've been able to keep up with most of the Man Utd news - I mean, hey, I've got my priorities, right? But most of the rest of the teams have been pretty much lost to me over the past three months. And there's so much going on.

So I watched my boys beat Boca today, and then I started watching Bayern Munich vs. Milan for the other Audi Cup semi to see who'll meet Man Utd tomorrow for the final. I thought, "Yay! I can watch my favorite team and my favorite player! If Bayern wins, that is." Well, it turns out that Luca Toni's been demoted to the reserves - AND he had four other teams that wanted him, but he'd opted to stay at Bayern - only to come back from playing in the Confederations Cup with Italy and get demoted?!? Wtf?! Milan wanted him, for piss' sake! All I can say is, "What the hell were you thinking, Luca?"

Monday, July 27, 2009


Hmmm...what time is it now? Ah, 4 a.m. Looks like the insomnia has returned, hasn't it? Well, I'm not surprised. Expected it really. I was just lying in bed and realized that I needed to turn off my alarm on my Blackberry. No need to have it going off in two and a half hours from now. Actually, the insomnia hadn't really gone away at all. I'd lain in bed most nights until quite late (or early) nearly every night, being jerked awake by some thought or another - almost always work related - just as I was beginning to drift off. Haven't made it to quite this late in a while though. Sheer exhaustion wouldn't allow for it, though my sleep was never settled when it finally did come. Tomorrow will be a true day off for me, I think. Then Tuesday Susan said she would call after she'd heard from the publisher when she got in. She's working the night shift, so it will be later on. I haven't decided yet if I should start in on all my paperwork tomorrow (well - today) or wait until Wednesday. I do have to complete my expense form to turn in quickly though. No point giving up the money - I'll be needing all I can get.

I've been trying to turn my thoughts to other directions tonight. Not that they're any more restful exactly, but they're certainly more pleasant. :) Time to climb back into bed and give those another shot, I think. Yes. Much more pleasant.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Not so bad so far

Well, I'm halfway through my first weekend as an unemployed person, and so far the only thing that seems a little odd about it is that I didn't have to spend all day yesterday taking pictures for work. That's happened occasionally that a weekend has meant an actual day off - but extremely rarely. I haven't been able to sleep in as I would have liked to though. It's been quite a while since I've been able to manage that. Despite my constant state of exhaustion from overwork, I haven't been able to sleep in even those rare times I've had the opportunity. The body gets used to these things, I guess.

I went to the office to clear out my desk yesterday. My former editor (the decision was made by the publisher) seemed on the verge of tears a few times while I was there. She knows how much I've been doing, and she didn't agree with the decision. I told her I've got a prospect in line that looks pretty good. She told me the publisher might be sent to a job in Chicago, and if he is, she said she'll call me. Whatever. I think my standards for the newspaper might have been a bit too high, and my priorities were different. I wanted to put out a great newspaper, and the publisher wants to make maps and host concerts and change the entire look of the paper every two years. He's got no understanding of what a community newspaper is supposed to be. After 10 years in this business and eight in community newspapers, my news judgement and priorities have never before been questioned or doubted. In fact, I've received nothing but praise. I left the flagship paper to try to rescue this struggling little 'ville paper, but you can't do that when the publisher in charge has a whole different (and completely twisted) view of how things should be. I take some comfort in knowing that not only does the entire staff hate him and wish him gone, but also that the entire community hates him. I've heard it everywhere I've been in the past three months. I have to wonder a bit, too, if he'd started to notice that I was starting to notice just how many company resources he was expending on his own private little pet projects. He was having employees of the paper work on projects for the boards he was a member of, treating them like his own personal staff rather than employees of the company that owns the paper. I also found out he fired someone else on Friday. That's seven people from a staff of 15 in three months. There were at least as many in the previous three months - and from my understanding, that's been the case all along. Hardly a week goes by that he doesn't get the whim to fire someone - and he does it without hesitation. Most often, those firings came to the complete bafflement of everyone else on staff. Seems he was of the belief that as long as they were within their 90-day probationary period, none of those staff cuts counted against him. They are being noticed though. As one of the other editor's I called Friday commented, "He's been going through staff like water." Indeed he has. (That editor, btw, said he'd love to have me working for him - unfortunately, there's nothing available at his paper at the moment.)

My day Friday still might have been pretty depressing - as joining the ranks of the unemployed can be - but for a nice hour and a half long phone with someone whose voice I'd been waiting about a year and a half to hear. It was a definite mood booster.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Hey, look at that. I'm back.

Yep, I'm back. You might have noticed that I've been away for a while. You see, I've been working these horrific hours usually 12, 13, 14 hours a day, plus weekends (at salary, mind you, so not getting any more money), always doing exactly what's asked of me despite the fact that the priorities were changing every five minutes, pulling the editor's ass out of the fire more times than I can count, bringing in organization where there was previously nothing but chaos...etc.....etc....etc........ for the past three months now.
What's it get me? Publisher calls me into the conference room to tell me that it's just not working out the way we'd hoped....blah....blah....blah.....
I'm not heartbroken. I said "ok" and left. Spent more than enough time killing myself for a man who demanded not only superhuman action but actually the convolution of the laws of physics and space/time. I'm well done with it.
I gave a call to the editor of a sister paper. He expressed absolute shock and disbelief. He'd LOVE to have me on staff but unfortunately has no openings. He led me to another sister paper. So I've got one possibility already. I almost can't wait to tell my former boss. He'll be reeling. He hated to give me up but gave me a glowing recommendation because he knew that I deserved more. If he only knew the reality of the situation in that place. With a staff of 15, there've been 6 people who've left in the last three months alone since I've been there - either sacked or quit - mostly sacked. The demands are absolutely impossible and as each 90-day probationary period comes up, the person's out the door again. Someone up the ladder might start recognizing that eventually. Certainly says something.
But anyway, I'm not killing myself anymore. Hope this other prospect pans out for me. I hate the job hunt, and it's especially crap right now - clearly. One positive for sure about this is - I have a whole new appreciation for every single boss I've ever had before. If I could work through what I've done for the past three months, no job could be harder. Hell, I was envying shit diggers who at least get to go home at night.

Flashback Friday - Paradise by the Dashboard Lights

Hey this is always fun. How about a little Meatloaf for Flashback Friday. It's Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. :) Praying for the end of time....

Friday, July 17, 2009

Flashback Friday - Call Me

This is slightly outside my original range, but it's just too good to pass up: Blondie's Call Me. :)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Flashback Friday - Life's Been Good

In spite of what the video description says, it's not the Eagles, it's Joe Walsh solo ... Life's Been Good

Friday, July 3, 2009

Flashback Friday - Jessie's Girl

When I sing along with this one, I alter the words slightly...and it makes me smile. This week's Flashback Friday is Rick Springfield's Jessie's Girl. :)