"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Monday, June 30, 2008


I'm feeling a little directionless lately, and yet, I'm strangely content, too. I feel like I'm at a beginning here, and there's a world of possibilities open in front of me. There's nothing to stop me from diving right in. For once, I feel as if I could go anywhere if I just put myself out there.


Sunday, June 29, 2008

Some Sunday downtime...for a change

I finally got to have a nice relaxing Sunday.

I didn't have to wake to an alarm clock, but for some reason I was awake at 7 a.m. anyway. Oh yeah, I was awakened by a text alert for a message from my friend S, an Italian residing in Greece. I'm still a bit confused by his correspondence. I can't quite read the tone of it. Hmmm..... Still, it IS sort of intriguing, and he has some lovely, interesting qualities. But my focus is elsewhere, and as long as G continues to give me any encouragement at all, I suspect he'll be remaining fairly securely at the top of my interests in that regard. There's a "something" there.

Great game today. As a newbie with no particular loyalties, I thought Spain deserved the win. They've had an amazing tournament. It's too bad David Villa couldn't participate in the final. Top goal scorer of the tournament though! Not bad! According to the results of my poll, I see about half of you weren't watching Euro '08 - so I apologize if I've bored you. But about a third were watching, so I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!!

I've got a column to write tonight. If anything interesting happens, I might write an update here, but otherwise, see you all tomorrow!

Oh, and I almost forgot those pictures I promised.
Pooh and his girlfriend

Gin in front of the Maverick

Artefill $10,000 makeover contest

I keep seeing this commercial lately for this procedure called Artefill that can fill the lines around your mouth and take years off your face. Well, I'm 35 now, and I'll admit, sometimes I'm not thrilled with what I see in the mirror. Accepting the fact that I now have an ADULT son hasn't been easy either. And I'm single again. But I like my prospects. :)

Anyway, I came across this contest sponsored by Artefill for a $10,000 makeover! "Hey, why not?" I say!

The contest is for women 35 years and older, and all you need to do is submit an essay about a life-changing experience and how you got through it and how it changed you. Well, I have one of those. Any of my regular readers have gotten their fill of it, I'm sure. My breakup (or whatever the end of that undefined relationship should be called) was hard on me, but I'm seeing a light at the end of that tunnel. And that light is the rest of my life. It's coming, regardless of what I do, so I'm steaming on at full speed. I think it's got great things ahead of me.

So I thought this makeover contest sounded like a great opportunity for someone like me - someone who's gone through a major life transition and is ready to move on to the next step - looking and feeling her best.

Does this sound like you? If you're 35 or older, check out the Artefill Makeover contest, and see if it's something you might be interested in.

Saturday, June 28, 2008


I'm a hopeless romantic
You tell me
I'm a naive idealist
You've said
"Why do you like me?"
You ask
Not realizing how beautiful
You are

You make me smile
That's why

Friday, June 27, 2008

We got to the Point....and back

I'm still quite tired today. I went 23 hours up yesterday - driving, walking, rollercoastering - then four hours sleep before getting up to work this morning.

I learned some new html bells and whistles I hadn't known before, so I created the project that was put forth to me last minute by the ad girls. Isn't it always the way? Someone gets a "brilliant" idea, then someone else (me) gets to do the work to make it happen...then someone else gets money off the deal somehow. But anyway, I was very proud of myself for what I did - even if no one notices the work that went into it.

Yesterday was insanely long but a lot of fun. We got to do most of the best coasters. I did Top Thrill Dragster with Pooh, because Gin backed out at the last minute. It was great, but the thrill was the speed (120 mph/190kph) rather than the height (420 feet/130 meters). The best was by far the Millenium Force - which had slipped under my pre-trip radar. Those were the top two, but we all decided that for an overall experience, we prefer King's Island to Cedar Point. We're hoping to squeeze in a trip there later this summer. We've got to find time for a zoo trip for Munch too. She has to feed her giraffe addiction periodically.

There was one especially fun little tidbit to the day. We got to ride the Maverick (which is a roller coaster waaaay better than its name) with the holder of the record for the most rides on it. The ride was new last summer, and this guy was riding it for his 567th time! He told us that he was a member of two coaster clubs, and he'd ridden it 471 times last year - including one day in which he rode 91 times! 68 of those without ever getting off the ride! See the POV video of the Maverick below.

I was a little surprised that I held up as well as I did. I ended the day with an ache in my right hip and sore knees (I have some fairly serious hip and knee issues), but I was feeling a lot better than I was after last year's KI trip. And certainly better than my day walking in Vancouver. (Another little spoiler for the trip that turned out to have the fate of a whole relationship riding on it.) Anyway, the weather held out for us, even though it looked terribly threatening at one point. We got very lucky there.

Anyway, I'll have pictures up tomorrow. Or skip ahead and see them in my albums on Picasa here.

At the moment, I've got a soccer game to watch from yesterday. Don't spoil it for me!

Maverick video

Check out Millenium Force too!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I sooo wanted to play with those curls.... :)

I'm smiling, though I'm mourning the loss of some of my favorite curls. :) And yet, I DO still like....yes. :) Hehe. I'm getting whole NEW ideas. Hehe.

We've had severe weather warnings all night, and it looks as if it's finally about to strike. The forecasts call for more tomorrow. I hope it doesn't spoil our day at Cedar Point.

I've had a few too many memories today. I go longer and longer without them now, but still, some occasionally do start to burrow their way back up to the front of my thoughts.

I might miss posting tomorrow, but I'll be Twittering and updating my mobile Facebook, I'm sure. Some ties can't be broken. :) I'll have LOTS of pictures later, though! I plan to take a TON! Yay! I'm so looking forward to some adrenaline!

Oooohh! Lightning!

Wordless Wednesday - Pretty Princess

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

(Bzz - txt alert)

I awoke to one sweet word this morning, and I think I've decided it's my new favorite word in the world. :) (Even though I had to look it up. I might have to brush up on my Italian.)

I spent my morning working and early afternoon at the bank trying to open a savings account for Munch with my mother. Always fun. Now I know why I conduct as much of my business as possible online. I really don't like people. At least not in certain situations. Some situations are just easier without people to deal with.

Thank goodness soccer is on again tomorrow. I'm suffering withdrawal.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Too tired

My pace seems to have caught up with me. Not only did I somehow fall asleep during the game yesterday (woke up in time for the all-important end though...it was a deserved win for Spain, but I was was still saddened to see the Azzurri knocked out of the tournament), but I even came home from the office today and fell asleep again. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I've been operating on too much coffee and too little sleep for too long now.

I awoke to the news this morning of George Carlin's death. He was always a favorite of mine. When I went into the office, of course, he was the first topic of conversation on everyone's lips. (I did hear one person say, "who's George Carlin?" - which just made me cringe.)

I'm afraid I'm not very inspired to write today. Maybe more tomorrow. I need to rest up for my day off. It will be a lot of fun, I know, but it's going to be a very long day too.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Hectic...but happy. I'll take it. :)

What a busy weekend this is shaping up to be! Fortunately, it got off on a great foot, and it's been pretty good, too.

Friday night I got an unexpected text that put such a smile on my face that I was still grinning in the morning. In fact, I'm still grinning now. Saturday was the usual - work, pick up Book, lunch, pick up the girls, more work - soccer!! - dinner... long. I got to have a lovely long chat with a dear new friend though. That was a very nice smile too. In fact, that one's still got me grinning, too.

Well, I've finished my work for this morning. Still got a column to write tonight. And my usual long Sunday awaits (but more soccer too! Can't WAIT for today's game!). Oh, and I got confirmation on my Cedar Point tickets, so our trip is on! Only one more thing could boost my mood even further right now... Still got my fingers crossed on that one. :)

Friday, June 20, 2008

View from the sidelines

I have to admit I find it fascinating how the Bush administration is taking its place in history as another Nixon White House. This president jeered as a country bumpkin is coming to be known more as the head of the most manipulative, corrupt government machine since that period. Once portrayed merely as a fool, George Walker Bush is skewing and twisting in the public eye, fast becoming a representation of the Face of Evile. (intentional extra 'e') Even his own former supporters are beginning to see the error of their ways and recognize the rose-colored glasses of their belief in an ideal blinded them to the truth.

The latest headlines have been generated thanks to revelations in the new book by Bush former Press Secretary Scott McClellan. I haven't read the book yet, but I can assure you that I will as soon as possible. Just reading the news stories generated and listening to interviews with the author himself, I'm watching the house of cards tumbling down around George's ears. Today's headline: McClellan: Bush must blame himself for mistrust.

Disclosure: I voted for the man, though I was never a huge supporter, by any means. In my view and from what I knew at the time, he was the better choice of the options available at that time for that particular time in history.

This must be what it was like in the Nixon years. As politically precocious as I was, I can't claim first-hand recollection of those years (having been born in September of 1972). Still I have read a lot about the era, as it has always fascinated me - naturally. My favorite political writer is/was Hunter S. Thompson, and "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72" was my first exposure to his work.

(Thanks, you-know-who-you-are, for introducing me to HST, by the way. I don't know if I ever thanked you for it before. Does that mean now that I can blame you, too, for my latest crushing blow?)

But anyway, Nixon did some important things in his presidency, regardless of opinion of him, but he will always be remembered in history for the mind-boggling corruption of his administration.

What will be Bush's legacy? Twenty years from now - one generation - how will he be remembered? Will it depend upon the ultimate resolution of this war or has his place already been set?

It is said that the English translation of an ancient Chinese triad of curses is:
May you live in interesting times.
May you come to the attention of those in authority.
May you find what you are looking for.

We are living in interesting times. We have all come to the attention of those in authority. We must ask ourselves now, what are we looking for?

Is it any wonder that politics is my favorite spectator sport?

(Speaking of spectator sports, the Turkish team are officially the "comeback kings"! Today was by far the most exciting finish of a game in this tournament - and there have been a few!)

Welcome back, smile :)

I woke up to a smile in my inbox this morning, and it stayed with me the whole day. :)

I took the girls out for sushi for lunch. The ladies at the sushi place just love us. For months after they opened, every time we came in they were just fascinated by the fact that Munch and Gin not only love their sushi (the real stuff - raw fish and everything!!), but they even eat it with chopsticks! In fact, Munch told me to specifically mention in my blog that sushi is her favorite food. When she had to write a book of her favorite things for school this year, she proudly announced to me that she was the only one in her first-grade class who'd even eaten sushi before, and she's always proud to tell everyone that it's her FAVORITE FOOD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

We got back just in time for the start of the soccer game. I was cheering for Germany just for the joy of watching Christiano Ronaldo lose. And for Michael Ballack to win. (Mmmmm......hottie!) My sports curse doesn't seem to be carrying over into the soccer world. Or maybe it's just because they're so far away. Hmmm..... Maybe it has something to do with all that water in between.

Of course, all that water is serving as a bit of a barrier to more than just my sports curse, but I'm hoping that particular barrier will be overcome soon. Wish me luck on that particular front. And there's that smile again. :) It's good to have it back.

I'm planning a day trip with Gin and Pooh (and Pooh's girlfriend) for next week. We're planning on hitting Cedar Point on Thursday. We're all roller coaster nuts, and Gin's grown to 52 inches this year, so she can ride all the big ones now. She's looking forward to checking out the Top Thrill Dragster (420 foot drop and 120 miles per hour in under four seconds!!! That's 130 meters and 190 kph for my international friends.). Check out the video:

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


I had the most horrifying dream last night, and I have no idea where the idea came from. I'd almost forgotten about it until I just visited a blog, and the writer's post for today was about a strange dream she'd just had.

Here's mine:

Munch and I were about a block from our house waiting at the curb in front of a house for what apparently was the end of some kind of dog race through town. The woman who lives in the house was throwing out chunks of bone and meat that were landing all around us, and we were stumbling around trying not to step on it. She started screaming at us to move just as we heard the dogs coming. Somehow, we hadn't heard them until they began to come around the corner. For some reason, Munch wouldn't move, and I was yelling at her to get out of the way. I had to half drag/half carry her, as she'd made herself stiff refusing to move. We managed to get about halfway across the yard, along the curb, toward the dogs, just behind the edge of a hedge that isn't really there in real life. Then she fell. She lay on the ground, perfectly fine but still refusing to move for some reason. The pack of dogs - huge, vicious ones, not the typical racing types - raced by the hedge toward the scattering of meat and bone. I was still trying to move Munch and began to fall, tripping over her, as I looked over my shoulder and saw that one of the dogs had spotted us and veered toward us. It lunged at me as I fell over Munch and shielded her from attack rather than attempting to defend myself. The massive, snarling, black dog bounded through the air and struck, sinking its teeth into the back of my neck as I heard screams all around me. My perspective left my body, and I was viewing the scene. Munch was safe, but I was mangled. My head was half torn from by body, and the dog was ripping into my arms and legs as the shock of it woke me.

When I opened my eyes, my heart was pounding, and the image was seared into my brain. Somehow, the dream was completely forgotten this morning - until I read that post. Now, I don't think I will ever forget it again.

Wordless Wednesday - Portent

Viva Italia!

I'm up too late again - and for no good reason. Well, I could watch the Netherlands-Romania game that wasn't televised earlier. I already know the result, but I've only missed one game this tourney. I might as well keep up the record.

I was cheering for the Italian win (and Romanian loss) today. Yay! They're moving on to the quarterfinals! Can I pick Luca Toni as my "footie" crush again? I don't care if he's getting panned for his performance in this tournament - he's just damn sexy.

Speaking of Italians, I had a chat with a new friend today. Actually, he's been on my friend list on Facebook forever, but this is the first I've ever chatted with him. (HE contacted ME - waddya know?) He seems very nice. No "click" though, but still, he's nice. And artistic. And smart. And smokin' hot. Not the one I was hoping to hear from though. THAT one "clicked."

On a completely different subject, hit this link for a potential solution to our dependence on foreign oil that I don't think ANYONE has mentioned before. Bug poo.

The girls had fun at the park today.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Fiction silliness

I was going through some old e-mails trying to clean up my mailbox, which is now at nearly half capacity, even with all the crap I've dumped already.

In the process, I came across a challenge from a fellow writer pal to write the worst opening sentence for a work of fiction, inspired by the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest.

My submission:

As the illiterate, fat, out-of-work actress sat in her popcorn costume, munching away at her French fries and poised to strike at the sleeping vampire, she could not help but think that she might have misinterpreted what she thought was a menu board reading, "10 oz. stake, choice of potato, and role with butter."

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Monday, June 16, 2008

At sunset

Sunset sky in pink and gold
Another day, another chapter ends
Turn the page
Turn the corner
A new character
A whole new storyline begins
Hope (and fear)
Light (and shadow)
Life goes on

The Cheese Whisperer

I had my usual Sunday morning (and early afternoon) of work, followed by taking Book home and stopping for lunch with the girls. We got takeout this time though, so we could come home and watch soccer. I started to feel a little too pressured though, so I figured I'd better get back out the door. After all, I paid for the Replay videos on the UEFA site, so I might as well take advantage of them. I'm catching up now, as a matter of fact. Of course, only one of the two games was televised anyway, so I'd have catching up to do anyway.

So we skipped the end of the game and headed off to catch my stepdad to give him his Father's Day gift before he left for a cookout at his son's. (No one else was invited to the cookout - just dad. Nice, eh?)

We stopped off for the weekly groceries, and Munch amused everyone in the deli area with her unnaturally fervent affection for Colby-Jack cheese (she stood with her palms against the glass of the deli case, gazing longingly at the cheese and whispering, "Oh, I love you so much." In fact, she turned to me and said, "I wasn't talking to you, Mom. I was talking to the cheese.")

Just after we arrived home, under beautiful clear blue skies, warnings of a severe thunderstorm just to the north came across the TV screen. Suddenly, black clouds filled the sky, and the wind started up so sudden and strong that I could barely keep my footing when I stepped onto the porch. And that was the moment I realized that we had just emptied the kids' pool in the backyard this morning. I took a peek and saw it was already gone. Gin and I scanned the horizon to see where it had gone (we've lost two kiddie pools, three recycling bins and a giant inflatable jumper to wind - and we never found a trace of them). Just then, as the lightning began to strike all around, Gin spotted the pool dancing across the stubble of last year's cornfield behind our house. Ever try running in the dark through an off-year cornfield, in wind, and lightning, while wearing sandals? Gin reached the pool first and grabbed it, hanging on for dear life and the wind whipped all around. Somehow we made it back through the field just as the raindrops started to fall. We both took a while to catch our breath after that little adventure.

(Holy crap! Looks like I skipped the end of the wrong game, didn't I? How did Turkey manage to pull that one off?)

Anyway, the storm hit furiously, but it only lasted a few minutes then settled into a steady rain that went on for a couple of hours. Not what we need right now.

Oh, and my ex-pig called after discovering the redirect (because OF COURSE, he was on it AGAIN - or tried anyway). He said he thought it was funny, then insisted that I needed to "get over" myself because he's NOT obsessed with me. He claims he just found it interesting, "like the Obama stuff and that kinda thing." Uh huh. 'Cos political opinion is so hard to find anywhere online (I should be getting more traffic). He's 42 and has NEVER voted in ANY election nor shown the slightest interest or understanding in anything remotely related to politics or elections. And he's a complete bigot (once told me that he never would have married me if he'd known that I had dated a black man in college - which makes me even more baffled by the fact that he still wants me NOW). And he doesn't read - anything. But my writing is SOOOO interesting - particularly about Obama - that he was visiting once or twice a day. Uh huh. And I should really get over myself. We've been divorced for nearly six years now, and he still makes a completely nauseating pass at me or asks me to come back to him every couple of months or so - basically whenever I make the mistake of NOT being a COMPLETE bitch to him, he thinks it's a welcome mat. I can't even begin to explain how much the very thought of such a thing disgusts me.
My "footie" crush of the day: Valon Behrami

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Wet denim does not dry while on the human body

I got to work early this morning, sans coffee. And after blocking my ex-pig, I headed out to pick up Book, and then to Nana's. I got to watch the first half of today's first Euro Cup game on her 60-inch TV. That was fun, and I even got my mom to watch a minute or two. Her only comment? "They should make them wear helmets if they're gonna do that stuff."

I came home to watch the rest and jumped in the shower to get ready for the party. Running late. Note: trying to shave quickly in a warm shower in an air-conditioned house - BAD IDEA. Goosebumps. 'Nuff said. I couldn't locate my swimsuit, so I figured I wouldn't get to enjoy the pool. Silly me. Somehow *I* ended up being the only fully dressed person to get pushed in, so I got to spend three hours - plus more than an hour's drive home - in wet clothes. It was a very small party - much smaller than I'd expected - but we still all had a good time. The kids, of course, didn't want to ever leave. Munch and Gin had already been in another pool all morning and afternoon at their dad's - with totally insufficient sun protection. (The coward had long since bailed by the time I came to pick up the girls, and he left them with his housemates, so he wouldn't have to face me.) I, of course, slathered them up before their second swimfest, but by then the damage had been done. Poor Munch's eyes were so red she looked possessed, and she's got a pretty uncomfortable looking burn across her nose and cheeks, as well a slightly less intense one over her arms and shoulders. Poor baby. She's miserable but so wiped out she fell asleep almost immediately. I hope it's not hurting her in the morning.
My "footie" crush of the day: Giourkas Seitaridis (but don't ask me to pronounce it)

Saturday, June 14, 2008


Well, my ex-husband has refused to stay off my blog, so I've blocked his IP. He's now being redirected to this page.

Friday, June 13, 2008

A little odd

It was an odd day today. Felt odd from the very beginning.

I had some technical difficulties at work, so my work day was longer than it needed to be. Or so I'd thought. Turned out I was going to be working a long day anyway, because we had advertising issues for the site that had to be handled right up to the end of office hours. And I got a little extra work too for a project that's being planned. I'll be working this weekend anyway, so now I have an additional task.

At least I got to watch the games while I was working and waiting and working and waiting. I was extremely disappointed in that totally WRONG offside call against Luca Toni that invalidated his goal and cost the Italians the win. At least they're still in it. And the Dutch blew my mind again. Wow! What a performance!

The other mind-blower of today, of course, was the sudden and unexpected death of Tim Russert. As a journalist and a political junkie, I had the deepest respect for the man and his work. It's hard to imagine the next four months of this election season without him. I have to admit I'm still in a state of disbelief as I watch the coverage. There's just something wrong with seeing the words "Remembering Tim Russert" with the pictures and the poignant music. It just seems so wrong.

Add to that the more than three feet of water rushing through the streets of downtown Cedar Rapids. No slow news day today. Britney's custody hearing hasn't even made it to TV, from what I've seen.

Pooh's 18th birthday party planned for tonight was called for rain - serious rain. But at least it's expected to be clear tomorrow. Should be a fun day by the pool with all the kids and Pooh's friends. I look forward to it. I could use it.

I got to have a nice chat tonight with my dear friend Z in London. I grow to appreciate more every day the wonder of our modern world, in which people from all corners of the world can find each other and touch each others' lives. I have formed friendships as genuine as any in "real life," and I am truly blessed to know them. That reminds me. My friend D in Manchester has assigned me to learn about some British television programming. Apparently, these programs (or is that programmes?) will give me some insight into his delightfully twisted humor. I'm intrigued. He started as my poker pal and has become my soccer pal as well. (And he says I'm the only "girl" he knows who understands the offside rule. Hehe. I've studied. Guess I'm not doing too badly - for a newbie.)

My "footie" crush of the day: Luca Toni - of course :)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

There never was a "what might have been"....not really

My baby boy Pooh turned 18 today. It's a cliche, but I still remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. His dad and I were talking about him at his non-grad party last weekend, and we both agree that we're thrilled at how he's turned out. His girlfriend even thanked me for what a good job I did with him. He's loving and generous and sensitive and smart and respectful of women - always. For the child of a single, teenage mom, he's a miracle. I was so pleased when I was talking to his girlfriend, too. She said that he'd told her, "If you ever need a woman to talk to, you can always go to my mom. She'll be there for you." I'm so proud of him.

It was a quiet day at home alone today. I put out more work fires, and then settled in to watch soccer. Kudos for the Croatian defense against the sleeping Germans today. They were on fire! The Austria-Poland game was fun to watch, too. Boruc was really on his game. I tried watching MLS in the evening, but somehow it just didn't seem as interesting. Hmm...

I've been taking a break from politics for a few days. But I caught this little item about a graphic on Fox News calling Michelle Obama "baby mama." Too f*cking far. I hate that term anyway. Shame on you, Fox News. (The E.D. Hill clip that's been making the rounds was totally taken out of context though. Let's be fair, folks. She was quoting what had been made of the gesture in the media and blogosphere - NOT saying that it was HER interpretation.)

I seem to have lost my appetite again today. I guess it's not quite over yet. I'm starting to feel kinda stupid for it sometimes. I've got to find some clear focus FORWARD.

My "footie" crush of the day: Artur Boruc (Great game today, and he became a daddy yesterday, too! Congrats!)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

My new ordinary...for now

Great work day today. I got hit left and right with *this* request and *that* late file and *the other* log-in problem, and I put it all away smooth as can be. I keep proving myself, day after day. They can't have any complaints on me.
I started following Barack Obama on Twitter this morning. Imagine my surprise when I saw he's now following me back. Me and the other 39,000 following him. Hehe. Oh well.
I sent my ... former love ... *sigh* ... a link to a blog. The post was about the road not taken, and regrets, and taking a chance. He thanked me for understanding. *Sigh* I never had a chance.
At least I had some great soccer to watch today. And i t w a s *G*R*E*A*T*!! I was disappointed that I had to sit through the announcers' constant deification of Ronaldo. Ick ick ick! You'd think he was the only player on the pitch. Don't get me started. Ick. Throw in a "pr" for good measure...
High praise for the Switzerland-Turkey water polo match as well. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time and had to laugh my ass off when the announcer said they were gathering gopher wood and two of every animal. It was incredible play for the conditions. I'm am sooo hooked!
I took the girls to their dad's for the rest of the week, and Pooh's still gone, so I'll be hanging out on my own for a few days. I got to have a nice long chat with a friend I haven't talked to in a while. Ran a little long actually, because I nearly missed G before he went off to bed. It's five hours later there. I've got to work on my timing. He offered a kiss goodnight though. Ah well. One of these days. ... Maybe.
So You Think You Can Dance is down to the top 20, so they're on to the pairs. This season is going to be incredible!!!
I'm gonna catch the new episode of Men In Trees tonight. ABC didn't pick it up for another season. That sucks. Every time I find a show I reeeeeaaalllly like. Dirt's been canceled, too. Damn it. That show frickin' rocks! If you haven't seen it, catch it on FX before it's gone. (NOT for children, btw. But ... OH! What naughty fun!)
My "footie" crush of the day: Diego Benaglio

Wordless Wednesday - Coming storm

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Even better

Work was painless. Then I got to watch more soccer. I'm really enjoying this. :)
I signed up for Twitter, although I have no idea why. All I can figure is that I have a text plan on my cell phone, and now that what's-his-name is gone, I don't have anyone else that I usually text. So, why not do the Twitter thing? Maybe it'll make me do things so that I don't look quite so dull.
Took the girls out for ice cream. Came back to watch more soccer. Hehehe. Good games today, btw. And I'm learning so much!
I played a little online poker. Broke about even.
Got an overseas nudge from my favorite playmate G. That's always good for a smile. :) A really BIG smile. :D
Made some Thai food. It kicked ass. :)
I feel good today. It's about f*cking time.
Not quite over you, but getting better every day.

Looks like the girls will be gone for a couple of nights this week. I might have to do something. The first thing I want to do is have a little chat. Hmm.... I'll have to see if I can manage to pull that off.
My "footie" crush of the day: David Villa

Monday, June 9, 2008

Getting back to good

I seem to have my appetite back. I only snacked through work, but by the time I finished, I was definitely ready to eat. I was going to cook then got a brainstorm that it might be a good idea to hit the sushi place. After all, that's where I was when I got the text message that made me lose my appetite in the first place two weeks ago. This was my opportunity to own it and not let him ruin that place - and my favorite food - for me. It was a good meal, and I left the restaurant STUFFED.
When we got home, I loaded up the Replay videos from yesterday's games, and the girls and I caught up on the games we missed. I'm watching Germany and Poland now (very carefully avoided accidentally seeing the results anywhere). I paid for these, after all. You can be damn sure I'll watch every game. Especially considering the crappy USD to euro exchange rate. Fortunately, at least SOME of the games will be available through my local cable provider, so I will be able to watch some live. It's kind of nice, though, being able to watch it when it suits me rather than when I have to. (Hmmm.....I wonder if that was his purpose.....)
It's been good being busy for the last couple of days, even though I feel like I got nothing accomplished, because it's kept my mind occupied too. Slowly, I feel as if I'm getting back to me again.
My "footie" crush of the day: Michael Ballack

Long Day (the Matchbox Twenty one)

Pics from party day

Book, Gin and Munch stayed busy during big brother's grad party.

Book and Nana's dog, Fluffy

Munch and Fluffy

Pooh's gf and Munch

Pooh (third from left) and some of his pals

Me and Munch

Long day (not the Matchbox Twenty one)

Loooooooooong day. I'm glad I didn't have to work this morning.
Pooh's grad party was today, so I scooped the other three out of bed this morning and got them all headed in the same direction. As usual, Munch couldn't find her shoes. I swear she has 37 pairs of shoes, but she couldn't find any two that match. She ended up wearing her sister's. I gathered up the photos and camera (forgot the gift - but remembered the cash, so the gift was forgiven). I was a little harried already. (But somehow, I have to say, I looked fantastic. Seriously, I was gorgeous today. Hehe. It must be true. Pooh's girlfriend told me so.)
Anyway, I swept the kids off to Nana's (my mom) house and ran in to pick up the meat tray and the cake and the last minute things, then back to Nana's for the party. The usual whirlwind ensued, and btw, it's 95 degrees outside with equally insane humidity.
The guests were slow to trickle in, but once everyone arrived - just a few family members (many didn't show, and I'm P*SSED) and several of his friends (especially impressive because it was out of town), his girlfriend and even her parents and siblings (!!) - the conversation was comfortable and light and friendly. It was an unusual mix of people - fewer than 30 - but it had a really nice, comfortable flow to it, so I was thrilled. Pooh's dad didn't show up, and I was about to be irate until I was told his car had broken down.
People lingered until well past the designated end of the party, then Pooh told us that we were invited to a party at his dad's next. As in - immediately after. As in - today. What?!?
To cut short, we gather kids again. Head off to yet another town, 45 minutes in the opposite direction from home. (Munch has lost her sister's shoes while at Nana's, so she's barefoot after a 25-minute search of the property turned up nothing.) Get to Pooh's stepgrandma's house. Nobody's there. Voicemail. "Mom, apparently the party's at dad's."
Off to dad's another 15 minutes away. There's a party tent on the front lawn and 30 people I don't recognize - with five I do. Pooh strolls up to me, "Umm....this.....isn't....the graduation party"
Turns out that Pooh's dad and stepmom have some guy over giving some affiliate marketing demonstration!!! "Stay! Eat! We have tons of food!"
(Are you kidding me?)
Got stuck there for two more hours, then I finally used my out - gotta get home to write my column. By that time it's almost 10 pm already. So Nana, Pooh's gf, the girls and I, pile into Nana's car (Pooh stayed at dad's) to head back to Nana's - 45 minutes. Gathered up party leftovers and Pooh's gf, the girls and I headed out to take gf home - another 30 minutes. Wouldn't trade it though - had the BEST talk with her during the drive and the girls were dozing off in the back. In fact, we sat in the car in her driveway for ANOTHER 20 minutes talking. By the time I got home with the girls (Munch was sick from overindulging in food and sweets and punch and play and trampolines and sunshine and..... ugh), it was 11:20 p.m.
Voicemail. One of the reporters at work is asking if I've heard any of the word on an incident in my tiny town today. (I hadn't - out of town all day). The incident - a 3-year-old boy hit by a car in his driveway. I check the address. I know that house. I don't know the family, but I've seen that little boy. I remember driving by one day - not more than a few weeks ago - and he was playing in his driveway and someone was backing a truck out of the garage. I got an awful feeling and slowed to watch - my hand at the ready on the horn in case the child changed direction - as the truck swept past him. I've just checked the area TV news Web site. The boy's in the hospital, but he's expected to be ok. Thank god.
Finished my column by 12:45 a.m. and sent it off. Now I'm off.
Long day.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

I don't wanna think about today

I swear I felt almost normal today. I didn't have to work this morning, so I was able to sleep a little bit later than usual. My tummy felt just a touch out of sorts, but I was able to breathe through it. I even managed a little lunch and a small dinner later too. I laughed. I smiled. I tried not to think about it, because the reality is a thousand times worse today. I'm trying not to think about it.

It's a gray, dreary, wet day, and all the wind we've been having suddenly has stopped dead. We've still got the heat and the humidity, though, so the dead still is not a good thing. I wanted to take the kids out today, but there's just nothing we can do outside in this weather. I really wanted to get out and get occupied today. I don't want to think about it. I really, really hate thinking about it today.

I wanted to watch soccer today, and I discovered that my local cable company (through which I also get my Internet access) was not carrying either of the games - although I could get golf on 14 channels or so...and drag racing.....and baseball....and girls high school volleyball...and NASCAR....and college baseball. The only place I could watch soccer was on Telemundo - in Spanish - and it was the wrong game. So I tried the UEFA site. Great! They've got live streaming for free in the U.S.! Wait.... It's through ESPN 360. Ok - I go there and try that.... DENIED! My Internet service provider/cable company does not support ESPN 360 streaming. I was left with one option. And I did it. I actually PAID for access to the videos - offered after the games are completed - for the tournament. I'm not sure how much I paid, either. What's the current conversion for U.S. dollars to euros, anyway? The first game has just been made available, and I've got it running now. This better be good.....


Friday, June 6, 2008

Goodbye and hello

My ex-husband has discovered my blog. I will say this now, if you are reading this, Edward, go away. I do not want you here. And I track my stats, so I will always know if you've been here again. I'll set up an e-mail for the girls for you.


Now, onto other things.

I had to say goodbye today. It was a very open and honest exchange. Only time will tell what happens now. I will have a friend, or I will have nothing of him in my life any more. Those are my remaining options, and even now, it is not I who will make the choice.

I stopped by the office after hours with the girls to drop off my time card. I had to face my desk for the first time in two weeks, which meant taking down the picture that had made me smile, even in that place. Captured in that photo was the veeeerrrrrry beginning of it all - a shared smile, before even the first kiss, which would not come for another several hours afterward. That kiss....... s i g h .....

Afterward, the girls and I stopped to pick up some supplies for Pooh's grad party Sunday, then dinner out. I was starving going in. I managed two bites from my salad, a bite of pizza, about a third of a breadstick and a small dish of cottage cheese with pineapple. This really has got to stop. And I want NO MORE people telling me I have to eat! I KNOW I have to eat! I TRY to eat. This is not a hunger strike or something. I'm not doing it by choice. Personally, I'm really impressed with myself that I haven't gone out and bought a pack of cigarettes. If THIS hasn't made me revert, I think I'm safe there.

I had a very brief chat with my friend G across the pond who was up too late already. He was just returning from a night out with friends. I envy his freedom, sometimes. But he did say, "I wish you could be here now." At least someone does....and he IS a particularly nice one.... In fact, he's even considering coming my direction for a visit sometime soon. "We could make it happen," he said. I hope we do. I think it could be good for me.

Oh that reminds me.... I've got soccer to watch this weekend. Apparently, I still have some motivation to learn more about it. :)

Hot days ahead

My horoscope tells me today: "You are feeling more flexible than ever -- in your mind and in your body! This is a great day to explore a new physical exercise, like pilates or tae kwan do. Or even salsa dancing! Your quick mind will enable you to get the hang of it in no time, and you just might find the next great obsession in your life. Integrating new and different things will be a total snap for you, today, so it's a great first day on the job and a wonderful night for a first date." That's what my horoscope says. I don't think so. Not today. But then, it's early still.

The forecast calls for a string of 90-degree days ahead. High humidity too. Oh joy.

I woke up retching again. Understandable though. I didn't fall asleep until 5 am and woke up at 6 am, for no particular reason. Didn't really need to be up before 7:30 or so this morning. I'm thinking it was a one-off though, rather than a real return of the insomnia.

We had good chat late last night. We got some things out on the table, and I passed along some information that probably would have gnawed at me had I not shared it, for whatever it's worth.

Btw, it hit the news this morning that "grease gangs" are out stealing waste grease from restaurants to convert to bio-fuel on the black market. Wasn't that an episode of the Simpsons?