"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

In-house competition

Well I found out in my phone interview that my primary competitor for the new job is an employee already working there. That's bad on two fronts: A) reduces my odds of getting the job, as she'll have the advantage of being "in-house"; and B) now if I WERE to get the job, I already know that I'll be walking into a hostile situation because one of my employees will be hating me because I've taken the job she wanted. Crap.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Made the first cut

I made the first cut for the new job I'm seeking. I've got a phone interview in less than 13 hours. The publisher said the preliminary phone interviews are expected to narrow the field to three or four. I'll keep you posted on my progress, but time for bed now.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Flashback Friday - Goody Two Shoes

This week's Flashback Friday is Adam and the Ants with Goody Two Shoes! What a fun song! Bonus performance video below!

1982 'performance' of Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant on the TV show 'Solid Gold'!!! Remember that show? :) (I say "performance" because it's one of the most hideous lip-syncs I've ever seen!)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Well, I had to weigh in on it again.....

Good news in New England as the Vermont Senate passes a bill to legalize marriage in the state. Votes are set in New Hampshire and Maine as well. Another good article on it here.

As usual, the opponents of this measure are basing their arguments primarily on religion, so of course I had to register at Boston.com just so I could throw my two cents in on the matter as well. I reiterated what I said in this post about the religious argument against gay marriage, namely that CHURCH LAW DOES NOT APPLY. Church law is not relevant in the question of legalizing gay marriage because it is about STATE LAW, not doctrine. Religion is as irrelevant in this argument as it would be in any other LEGAL issue. Can you IMAGINE if we had to consider church law in every legal case?! What a nightmare that would be! And which religion would get to have the final say in the matter, anyway? We don't have a state religion. There's an amendment specifically forbidding that. Until such time as that amendment is revoked, CHURCH DOCTRINE IRRELEVANT IN THE MAKING OF MAN'S LAW! Quoting Sen. John Campbell, chair of the senate judiciary committee and chief sponsor of the bill, "We will defend the Bible in church, and we will defend the constitution in here."

Monday, March 23, 2009

Emotional roller coaster

I had a decidedly unpleasant flashback today. I was watching a TV show online, and I suddenly caught notice of the background music. It was a song that I'd only heard in one context before. It was on the last CD that my former love made for me, just a short time before he left me. He was at that time finally fully admitting his love for me, which I'd waited so long for. It was a game for so long, his tap-dancing around telling me that he loved me. So much so that I would tell him I loved him, and he would reply, "tap, tap." We both knew what it meant. But he'd finally been able to break through that. He said that it was hard for him as it had never been before, because it meant so much more with me somehow. I heard that song today, and I suddenly came very near breaking down in tears. That loss I'd dealt with for so long - it's been 10 months now - it all came rushing back. I was able to suppress it. I wanted to choke it back. I've moved on. I have no choice. The story was all chronicled in the early days of this blog. For those curious enough, it's there for you to see. I would link to the old tales, but I really don't have any desire to stroll down that particular memory lane tonight.

Well it was almost immediately after that rush of emotion that my daughters decided to cause me to shift in an entirely different direction. They, yet again, took off without permission, while grounded for doing that very thing. Keep in mind, we live in a tiny, safe, virtually crime-free community, but they still were under restriction and directly defied my rule on the subject. And they've been doing it repeatedly. I went to fetch Gin from where she was supposed to be - studying with her friend for a test tomorrow - and I was told they'd gone to the park. Munch was there too. She hadn't had permission to leave at all. I've bagged up most of their toys. The rest are going tomorrow. I called their father and told him that he would take them tonight and could find a way to get them to school tomorrow - that I'd had it and he could actually be a parent for once. Wonder of wonders, after six months of not doing anything, he's suddenly got a job to do tomorrow, and he'd already committed to do the work. As always, I'm on my own on the matter. I will be taking the girls to and from school tomorrow, and they will not be leaving their room at all. They will spend that time doing their homework, then packing up their remaining toys. It should make the process of cleaning their room easier. They'll have nothing else to do. Beyond those three days, I don't know yet. I think it will be quite a while before they get to do anything anymore.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Footie and Facebook fun

I got to watch one and a half footie matches today, so my day started well, despite the fact that I had to work. I got to watch all of Inter Milan's victory over Reggina (or should I say IBRA Milan?) and the first half of Liverpool's hearty trouncing of Aston Villa. I can't say I'm overjoyed about Liverpool's victory (I AM, after all, a hardcore Man United fan), but I certainly enjoyed watching Inter's win. They're my second-favorite team (behind my Red Devils, of course), and I'd love to see them win Serie A. The pressure's on my Man U boys now in the Premier League, with Liverpool edging closer and closer. I so want to see them finish off this season with the quintuple cup wins! What a great first full season of European football that would be for me! (I just started this obsession of mine last May, you know. But it's my drug, and I was instantly addicted.)

I was playing on my Facebook tonight and came across a couple of fun little nuggets to share with my fellow Facebookers out there. It's nothing new, just new to me, and maybe new to you, so I thought I'd give them a mention. The first is that I finally located a list of the emoticons available on FB chat. You can find them here. As I said, it's not new, but it was new to me. Also not new - but loads of fun - is the "pirate language" option on FB. Give it a try by going to the bottom of your homepage and clicking the little arrow next to your language. It's got English - Pirate (Beta). Check it out! It's a hoot! I mentioned it in my status and now at least eight of my friends are playing with it!

Consolidate to save

Everyone is trying to save some money these days, and one thing you can do to save a lot is to reduce your credit card interest rates and consolidate your credit card debt onto a lower rate card. Do your research to find the best credit card offers and the best rates available now.
For credit card balance transfers, be sure to avoid cards that charge additional fees for transferring your balance from another card. Several credit card companies offer no fees and often 0% or special low rates of interest for balance transfers. Just make sure to make your payments on time so that rate doesn't skyrocket. Read the fine print, and you can save yourself a lot of money.

Munch turns 8

My little Munch turned 8 on Friday. She's my youngest, and they're growing up quickly. I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me is looking forward to the day when they're grown, because I feel that I've been only 'mom' for so long, and I've had no life of my own. Of course, the natural mommy in me is also a bit sad to see them growing so quickly, and I'm sure I'll miss the days when they were small. They're all doing so well though, and I am proud of that.

Gin has turned into quite the little reader. It seems she always has a book with her to read in the car. And when she's not doing her chores or homework, she's reading at home too. There are some advantages to having disconnected the cable several months ago, that's for sure. I think it's been a big contributor to her reading.

Munch once again demonstrated her kind heart and generosity. She got some money for her birthday, so of course, she bought candy. She shared this with her brother and sister. She also got two jewelry boxes for her birthday. Not to be left out, she decided to give one of her books to Book, so that he could get something too. She will never be the selfish one. Even when they don't share with her, her first thought when she has anything is to share with her siblings.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Flashback Friday - The Promise

This week's Flashback Friday is The Promise by Arcadia. Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Somnolently silliful substantiosity

I finally laughed out loud today. It's been a few days. I did laugh yesterday, when I opted for the most excellent therapy of watching, "So I Married an Axe Murderer." That's always good for a laugh. But today, I laughed with pure delight, over something that was at the same time completely insubstantial and profoundly significant. There are times when silliness can be quite meaningful.

I've had so many nights of sleeplessness and disturbing dreams, tonight I'm going to try early. I've lightened my heart just a little bit tonight. I hope it helps.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Crap day yesterday...slight improvement today

Yesterday just SUCKED! Starting with getting up early to watch the Man Utd game, fighting to find a decent stream (which I never did manage to do), only getting to watch tiny bits and pieces of it on a VERY CHOPPY stream, and then watching them LOSE 1-4 to LIVERPOOL! I almost would have rather seen them lose to Inter, although, then they would have been out of the Champions League race.

After the match, I was in a crappy mood, and the kids decided to be NIGHTMARES all day long, so it didn't get any better.

Today was a bit better though. Even though the kids were still in top nightmare form all morning, after we took Book back to his dad's house, the girls and I stopped for lunch. I couldn't really afford a lunch out, but Munch starting crying and made me feel guilty that I can't give them what I used to anymore. So I took them out anyway, and they were all smiles again. If her father weren't a complete loser and actually contributed to their support, I wouldn't have to deny them these little treats every once in a while.

So we did a quick grocery shopping trip, and would you believe it?!?! I came home to a clean living room. My mother was there, so naturally I assumed it had to have been her. She said it wasn't. Well, it couldn't have been my 18-year-old son Pooh.....could it?! Alas, no, it wasn't. Seems his girlfriend took it upon herself to clean up the living room that she's heard me tell Pooh to do for the past week. Wonder if that made him feel the slightest bit guilty....

I got to watch the second half of the Inter Milan/Fiorentina match online. I got a good stream and everything. AND I got to see them WIN! It was a little bit of a lift after Man Utd's miserable defeat yesterday.

I'm making Mexican tonight, and I've already got a column topic in mind, so that should be easy. Should be fairly painless for the rest of the day.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Flashback Friday - Wrapped Around Your Finger

Welcome to Flashback Friday! Today's song is Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police. Enjoy!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I wuvs me footie.....

I had to fight with the streaming videos all afternoon, but in the end I got to see my Man United boys take down Inter Milan to move on the the top eight in the Champions League tournament. Of course, Inter's my second favorite club, so I would have liked to have seen more of them. It was just bad luck on their part that they drew Manchester United in the first round. Yesterday's results showed the English football is clearly dominating in Europe this year. And NO Italian teams are moving on? Something wrong with that. What's happening with Italian football?

Bayern Munich will be moving on as well. Their 12-1 aggregate in the round of 16 was almost embarrassing, but who cares? I get to watch my favorite player, Luca Toni, some more. No complaints about that! Hope they don't draw Man Utd for the next round though. I'll be so conflicted. I'll be pulling for Man Utd to win and Luca to score. That's the best I can do. Sorry, van der Sar. I can't hope for a clean sheet for you if Luca's on the pitch. He's sooooooo sexy when he's happy. :) Of course, he's also sexy when he's sad. And when he's just sitting or walking, probably while he's sleeping too (that's a sight I wouldn't mind seeing...... Oops, did I just say that? ;) Yes, I did.) If they end up playing each other this tournament, I think I'll have to wear my Toni jersey with my Man Utd scarf and probably not blink for 90 mins. It would be a fun final, but I'm predicting an all-England final myself.

I read a news story today complaining that the Champions League is looking like a glorified English Premier League. I say, who cares? The best are the best. If the rest of Europe want to get in on the fun, they just have to play better don't they?

I also read today that Manchester City are courting David Villa and David Silva. All I can say there is, "Nooooo!" Villa's one of my favorite players, and though I'd like to get to see him more, (don't get much opportunity to see Valencia) I certainly don't want to see him go to City. They can have Silva.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Frum is right

I generally identify myself as a conservative. There. I said it, though it's almost an embarrassment to say these days. Then I saw this story (<--click here) on the Newsweek Web site by David Frum, and I realized that there are others who call themselves conservatives who feel the same way.
Frum is absolutely right on this one. It's the reason that I consider myself a conservative but not a Republican. It's the reason I've come to identify myself (if I must) as more of a Libertarian. It's the reason that my vote no longer matters.
This nation is firmly and disgustingly entrenched in a two-party system - and that leaves no party for me. Republicans have left their party in droves, but I don't believe that they've suddenly switched over because their core beliefs have changed. They've switched because the Republican party has become too extremist. Times change. Priorities change. They MUST change. Failure to recognize that is not only foolish, it's dangerous.
My personal beliefs have never fully meshed with the Republican party platform, but they don't fit into the Democratic side either. That leaves me, in this country, without a party. I say I'm conservative, but don't assume that you know what I believe about any given issue. (this entry of particular note)
I'll admit that I sometimes listen to Rush myself, although not often anymore because I don't happen to be in the car when his show is on. (I listen to and watch and read commentary and news presented from ALL sides - even if I don't agree.) I agree with him on some things, and sometimes I disagree and drive down the road yelling at my radio. But I listen because he makes me think about the issues, he leads me to further research, and frankly, because I can see past all the bombastic nonsense to get to the core of the message. The point is that he cannot be the face of the Republican party because he is a polarizing, all-or-nothing, with us-or-against us figure. With that "face" on the party the message and the ideals are lost. And more and more people will see "conservative" as a dirty word.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Flashback Friday - Who's That Girl?

This week's Flashback Friday is Eurythmics' Who's That Girl? (Did anyone notice I missed last week?)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Bit o' this, bit o' that

So, the ex saw my byline change in the newspaper, and his reaction was surprisingly mild. He called me up to talk to the girls and casually said, "I saw your name was changed on your article today." (It's a column....there IS a difference...but anyway...) I said, "Yeah." He said, "So when did that happen?" I said, "This week." (Making it perfectly clear that is was a direct result of that last-straw phone call from Saturday night.) He said, "So you're changing your name now?" I said brusquely, "Yes!" He said, "Okay, that's cool." Whatever....

I got word of an exciting job opportunity yesterday, and I decided today that I am going to pursue it. I'll talk to my boss tomorrow. I'll tell you all more later, once I've got the ball rolling. Stay tuned!

My new batch of wine is in the finishing stages right now, but I couldn't resist giving it a try tonight a little early. It's good! I was going for a pomegranate-blueberry dessert wine, and it's very close to what I was looking for. I stopped the fermentation before it stopped on its own, to prevent it from getting TOO strong and losing all its sweetness. It's actually a little bit too sweet now, so I had to cut it with some filtered water. It's definitely strong. The flavor is just what I was hoping for though. I'll certainly do it again, but I can't decide if I'm going to cut back on the sugar or just let it ferment longer and get EVEN STRONGER. I might opt for the latter. I can always cut it if it's really overwhelming, but I don't mind it being strong. I was looking around on the web to see anything about any pomegranate-blueberry wine, but I couldn't find a thing. I might be the first one to try this! Good stuff, but I'm feeling the effects after just half a glass. Hey, with all those antioxidants though, it's pretty much guilt-free, right?

Maybe the wine will make help me sleep tonight. The insomnia came back with a vengeance this week and by day four on Wednesday, I was practically nonfunctional. I finally opted for a pill last night, but I think I took it a little too late, because I was feeling awfully sluggish this morning.

I was catching up on American Idol tonight. I watched the performance episode from Tuesday and the results show from Wednesday. Did anyone else find it amusing that when the group sang Katy Perry's Hot 'n' Cold, they kept the "PMS" part but they changed the word "chick" (from the radio version - the original version says "bitch") to girl? I had to laugh at that. Saying "You PMS" was ok, but somehow adding "like a chick" would have been offensive, so they made it "like a girl." I can see how "bitch" wouldn't fly for AI, but "chick" really shouldn't have been an issue, right? LOL! Of course, I don't really get the point of the radio edit from "bitch" to "chick" anyway. I don't recall anyone having issues playing Meredith Brooks' song "Bitch" a few years ago - or now for that matter. I'd like to add, btw, that "Bitch" is one of the most awesome songs ever. Katy's tune is pretty rockin' too.

I've also gotten into a little show my footy pal and fellow Man Utd fan D turned me on to. It was called "I'm on Setanta Sports" and is now called "Special 1 TV." It stars a puppet version of Jose Mourinho (current manager of Inter Milan) as host of a supposed football call-in show. If you're a footy fan, check it out on YouTube. It's hilarious! Oh wait....I mean, It's Fantastic! Be Champions!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


I am reclaiming my identity. I informed the editors at my three papers today that they'll need to change my byline. I'm going back to my maiden name. I kept my married name because my daughters have it, but I see no further need to have that stamp of my ex-husband's ownership on me. I can't wait until he reads my column. He'll probably pick up a paper tomorrow, because one of his friends got arrested yesterday (his friends get arrested on a regular basis). This particular friend of his did a stint in prison for cocaine and now has apparently been arrested for rape. These are good people, aren't they? Anyway, the ex called me to ask if I knew anything about it (working at the paper, I often get the 'inside scoop' before it goes public). I didn't, but I mentioned that if he was arrested yesterday, it will be in the paper tomorrow. (We're no longer publishing on Tuesdays thanks to our glorious economy.) My column will be in the paper tomorrow. When he sees my maiden name next to my picture.....SURPRISE! Get it yet?


I'm crazy busy lately - can you tell? When was my last post? Geez! Go ahead and let go with the wet noodles - I deserve it. This one's overdue...

My ex-husband called me Saturday night. This would be my seven-year-ago ex-husband, mind you - and unfortunately, the father of my two daughters. He periodically gets it into his head that he might have a chance in hell of getting me back, and apparently, Saturday was one of those times. It was all the same stuff - he made a mistake; he claims, yet again, that he didn't cheat after we were married (don't believe him for a second and know for a fact that he did after our first daughter was born); swears he's changed; blah, blah, BLAH! He doesn't get the fact that I don't care if he's changed. I don't care if he's declared a saint. He KILLED every good feeling I had for him while we were together. He keeps saying he wants a second chance. He had at least a half dozen second chances. While we were together, the disgustingly pathetic excuse for a man cheated, lied, spent virtually every waking moment either gone or so doped up on Xanax and muscle relaxers that he was completely incoherent, and once even emptied our joint bank account to buy crack. Take him back?! FUCK NO! I'm so sick of it.
I let him wail on and on.....and on. He went on for more than an hour. I know I shouldn't have, but I've been soft on him since he moved in with his mother when she was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. Not soft - or stupid - enough to even consider for a SECOND taking him back, but I let him do his crybaby shit again. I was trying to be kind. I can't help but pity him - in a pathetic, useless waste of space kind of way. Thinking on it though, I don't think I'm being kind. I'm sick of it. It's been seven years. He needs to move on. I don't CARE if he compares every woman to me, and they don't measure up. He'll have to learn to settle for less. I did - for a while - when I married him. He had me, and he killed it. Then he came back and stomped on it for good measure. Then he spit in its face (he actually did that to me once, too). Then he knocked it down a flight of stairs (did that to me too - when I was eight months pregnant).
He whines on and on about how he's thought about putting a gun to his head (he always says that), but now he says at least he's man enough to stick around for his kids. Puh-leeze! In seven years, he's managed to scrape together a grand total of $150 to help with the girls. There's no child support. He bullied me into shared parenting to get out of it. Of course, he doesn't share the parenting. He's gone a month or more without seeing them. Part of the agreement is to pay half of their expenses too. 150 bucks sure as hell isn't half the cost of raising two girls for seven years. I say he's not being man enough to stick around for them. They'd be better off if he did put a gun to his head. At least then they'd get Social Security benefits, which is far more than they've ever gotten from him. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, he got them Christmas presents TWICE in those seven years. The other years he conveniently saw them shortly before Christmas, promised them he'd get them something, then failed to contact them at all for a month and a half or so - hoping that Christmas would be conveniently overlooked. He's useless. If he wants to really be a man, he should just go ahead and DO IT already. If I had a gun, I'd lend it to him. Barring that (and he won't - he's too much of a coward and too in love with himself), he just needs to financially support his kids and stay the hell away from me.
When I'm civil to him, he always starts this shit. Hell, he mentioned wanting to kiss me, and it made me want to vomit. I told him I don't have a choice. If I'm civil, he starts crossing the line. Time to turn on the 'bitch switch' again. This time has been the last time I'll bother trying to be nice. I'm fucking done.

Oh and since he's moved again my IP block on him doesn't work, so he said he's read this blog a few times. Hope he reads this one.