"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Remembering what was forgotten, and reliving it

All day yesterday I kept thinking that I was forgetting something. The date kept repeating in my head. May 25. That means something. I should remember something. I thought it was something I was supposed to do. Maybe a bill to be paid or an assignment that was due or a meeting I was supposed to go to or something for the girls' school. May 25 was something. But I couldn't quite place it.

This morning I remembered. It was two years ago. May 25 was the day of my son's graduation. That's not what made the day stick in my head though. On that day, P left me. He left me devastated. I won't bother to replay the situation. It's all be chronicled here before - too much. It was months and months of misery for me - so naturally the date stuck.

I felt a little better when I remembered what it was. What felt particularly better was the fact that I HAD forgotten - that I'd managed to forget. No matter how I felt that day two years ago, the fact that I could ever forget that day, on the anniversary of that day.... well, that made me feel a lot better.

That day I lost the man I loved. By his choice, he walked away from me.

Today, two years and one day later, I fear someone else may have walked away from me. Unlike that time, I was given warning that it might be coming. I was warned the walking away might be coming, but I was reassured that if it came, it would not mean that he was walking away from me. I was assured that it meant walking away from others. Still, seeing him gone, I can't help but wonder if it's true. Was he walking away from all of the others, or has he walked away from me?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Staving off footie withdrawal - the 2010 plan

I'm going through the early stages of Man United withdrawal already, but it hasn't set in too hard just yet. I staved off a little of my symptoms by watching part of the Inter Milan match. I was quite happy to see them win the Serie A, but I have to admit I had a little hope for Roma as well, since of course my favorite player, Luca Toni, plays for them. Either way, I would not have been unhappy with the results from today's matches, I think. Roma did win their game, but much like United's final win, as far as the league title went, it was largely irrelevant. A bit sad, really.

Now that Luca's no longer with Bayern (thank goodness), I won't have any conflicts at all for the Champions League final. I will be pulling for Inter all the way. Of course, I have been ever since Man United were knocked out of that one. By Bayern, no less. Kick their asses for me, Jose. :)

After that's over, my footie fixes will depend on the World Cup. First match June 12 between the USA and England will be one of the most exciting for me. I'm pulling for England. Feel free to disparage my lack of patriotism. I don't even know any of the US players. American soccer bores me. I've tried watching MLS, and it simply doesn't hold my interest. I could be generous and claim that it's the commentators. God, American soccer commentators are DULL! But for me, it's a different game entirely. That's the reason, you may notice, that I call the game the Americans play "soccer," while the REAL stuff played in Europe I call "football." I've even worked out how to record the matches online(assuming my internet connection happens to be working on any given day) so that I can watch them when I get home from work.

My FAVORITE means of staving off the summer footie withdrawal will come for me in July. All of the arrangements have been made. I am GOING TO SEE MANCHESTER UNITED PLAY LIVE in Kansas City on July 25. My ticket for the match is in Row 2, right on the corner, which is not only an amazing seat all on its own, but it's also located directly behind the seat of one of my favorite fellow United tweeps. There are several of us who chat during the matches on Twitter who will be converging on KC for the match, and we're all staying in the same hotel as well. I'm only making the overnight trip and staying the night of the game before driving home the next morning. I will be exhausted - and possibly hung over - for the drive home, but it will be AWESOME, I've no doubt! I'd rather see them at Old Trafford - and frankly, hoped that I'd get to see my first Man United game accompanied by my dear friend D - but I will take what I can get and think my joy on that day will be in no way incomplete. I'll retain the hope and goal for OT and D for a future time.

Actually, Europa cup qualifying rounds begin July 1 this year, and though I don't have a team to support there, I do have the motivation of rooting AGAINST Liverpool.

With World Cup action, my favorite team live in the US and Europa, it looks like I'll have little time for footie withdrawal at all this year. Premier League season starts up again in August. The footie gods are certainly smiling on me this year. :)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Confirmation of his useless fuckitude

The girls returned from their trip to Illinois this evening. Both of them got sick while they were gone, and Gin's still feeling pretty lousy.

When Jen returned the girls to me, she told me she was disgusted by my ex. Join the club. She said he slept the whole time - which I expected. He took Friday off work - even calling me at 7:30 a.m. to tell me that he was taking off and would be spending the whole day with the girls. Jen tells me that he slept the whole day. (Jen is married on one of his coworkers, btw.) She said they went to a family fun center, which is like a Chuck E. Cheese, and he even slept in the booth the whole time. Then, after having told her that he would split the bill with her, when she handed him the receipts, he asked her what the hell those were for. She even bought each of the girls a Webkinz toy and a pair of socks, and he told her he wasn't paying for it. She told me the girls were great and he was lucky to have them and was disgusted by his behavior. She also called him a deadbeat and said the smartest thing I ever did was leave him. I already knew that, but it's always nice to have confirmation like that - especially when it's from someone supposedly in "his camp."

Jen said that when he went to work, he was bragging to his coworkers about taking the girls swimming and to the family fun center. About the pool, she told me he spent a little while in the hot tub, was bitching the whole time, and then went upstairs and went to sleep.

Jen also said that they'd had a lot of pizza left over from the trip to the family fun center, so that's what they had for dinner. She said the girls came over after their dad had gone to work and asked if they had anything to eat because they were hungry. She asked what had happened to all the pizza then checked their mini fridge in their room. Turns out, he had taken all the leftover pizza to work with him and left them nothing to eat while he was gone to work for 12 hours except a bag of Funyons.

When Gin got home, she said she had a letter from him for me. It was a Mothers Day card telling me that I'm a great mother (I must be if they're that good and he's so bad) and saying that he wished we were still together then he could take us all out and show me a great day (yeah, I heard all about the "great day" with the girls.)

I asked the girls about it, and they too said that he slept almost the whole time. And Gin also verified that he was bitching at them whenever he wasn't sleeping.

Seriously, you useless fuck, just die already and get the hell out of my girls' lives. They're better off without you. (Oh, but I'll apologize for one thing - apparently it was actually Wisconsin. Must be right over the border, based on the web tracker.)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Education has rewards

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

To Whom It May Concern: I honestly wish you would just die

I figured out who was lurking here, and finding their way via my full, unfortunate married name. It threw me when I saw the curious searcher was in Dundee, Ill., but apparently my stupid ex-husband doesn't know the difference between Wisconsin and Illinois. He told me he was in Wisconsin, but he said the girls would see Chicago this weekend. Stupid moron.

He said I could come along and I told him no. When he asked why, I said, "Because I would have to be around you." When he asked why that was a problem, I said, "Because I don't like you." When he asked why not, I said, "Because you're a loathsome person." Then he asked what that meant.

How about a list?

(Feel free to skip the rest, if you're not the one this is directed to.)

* You're stupid. Honestly, you're one of the most stupid people I've ever known. You don't read. You didn't finish high school. There is absolutely no topic in existence on which you can have an intelligent conversation. You're a complete moron. Sorry, call me a bitch for it. I don't like stupid people and have no desire to hang around them.

* You're a bigot. You once told me that you wouldn't have married me if you'd known that I dated a black guy briefly in college. Yes. That would have been reason enough. Just that I dated a black guy once in college. Of course, you claim that it doesn't matter now. When I fell in love with P and did a LOT more than date him and for a LOT longer, you said that didn't matter to you. Bullshit. You're a bigot and that hasn't gone away and doesn't go away.

* I'm not a complete idiot. Oh, let's see. You cheated on me and lied to me CONSTANTLY before and after we were married. You even went so far as telling me to leave so you could be with your mistress who might or might not have been carrying your child at the time. Of course, it turned out it wasn't yours. It was her boyfriend's. Yeah, that's class. I took you back enough, and you kept shitting on me. Do you think there's any way I can NOT consider you to be an unforgivable asshole?

* Hey, just as an afterthought, why don't we throw in the time you spit in my face, knocked me down a flight of stairs, and threw my keys away so I'd have to walk six miles to get to my mother's - while I was supposed to be on complete bed rest because I was eight months into a difficult and delicate pregnancy. Not that it mattered to you before then either. I was supposed to be on complete bed rest, but I still had to do the grocery shopping then carry everything up the two flights of stairs to our apartment when I got home - all the while YOU were sitting on your ass in your chair - as usual.

* You're selfish. Yes, you always have been. Not just this weekend when you're taking the girls out of school because you were too lazy/selfish/stupid not to come back home last weekend while you were off work. So now you want them to ride in a car for 18 hours and miss a day of school to see you for - what? - a few minutes when you won't be working or sleeping?

* And there's the whole work thing. When's the last time you managed to hold a job? Oh yeah, you were working for a while off and on during those eight years since I left you. When's the last time you contributed any money to help take care of your daughters? Oh that's right, this week is the FIRST TIME! But you say you've spent the last eight years trying to make it up to me? How's that exactly? By being a worthless loser? Good role model there.

* Oh that's right. You being a worthless loser for the last eight years is MY FAULT. I forgot. What ever WASN'T my fault? I broke your heart, so you couldn't work and support your children for eight years. The breakup of the marriage was my fault, because I left you, NOT because you cheated and lied and spent a year in jail for selling drugs (FUCKING MORON) to the neighbor who had been getting it from you in exchange for videotapes and mowing the lawn and suddenly had enough cash to buy in quantity. But you were too stupid to even get suspicious about that. Well, you had to make some cash at the time, I guess, to support that woman you'd just thrown me out for.

Instead of asking why I don't like you, how about asking yourself what possible reason I could have TO like you. I don't care if you completely turn your life around and you're nominated for SAINTHOOD. I will always be nothing but appalled and disgusted by you.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Drunk criminals are stupid

Well, I certainly got an interesting start to my weekend. In fact, I'd planned to write this yesterday, but I was catching up on my sleep after being up all night Friday.

I got home from work a little before 2 a.m. after doing the Friday night shift on the desk at work (that was interesting enough, but that's for another time). I got on my computer for my usual "wind-down" time before attempting to go to sleep.

About 3 a.m., I hear a knock at the door, but in my room, I can't tell the difference between a knock at our door or the neighbor's (it's a townhouse with four units). The neighbors moved out a short time ago, but they were three college-age boys, so my thought was - it's a drunk friend of the neighbors who doesn't know/remember they moved, or it's a drunk friend of my son's who wants a place to sleep or to convince him to go out.

I ignored it the first time, then it came again. I pulled on some pajama bottoms (I was just in a cami and panties at the time - it was hot) and went downstairs.

As I always do, I looked out the front window first - didn't see anyone but noticed the interior light in my son's car was on. I opened the front door and no one was there, but I walked out to turn off the light. Then it went out on its own. As if someone had closed the door just seconds before (there's a short delay on the light).

I looked around and heard a noise coming from the porch of the neighboring unit - it's in shadows, so I can't see anything there. I heard a hiccup, then the jingling of keys. Okay, I'm thinking that it's someone obviously drunk and maybe one of the boys who used to live there, who's forgotten he moved or something. I hovered around for a few moments, but the person made no attempt to approach me or say anything, so I went back into the house.

I turned off the porch light and the lights inside, and I stood inside the front window and watched outside. The light came on in my son's car again, and I saw the top of a man's shaved head as he rifled around inside the car.

I went upstairs and knocked on Pooh's door to tell him someone was messing in his car, and he threw on some clothes and came downstairs. We both went outside and didn't see anyone there. He immediately checked in his car and found his TomTom GPS was missing. I ran in and grabbed my phone so he could call the police, then we hung around outside to watch the area.

Music started up - VERY LOUDLY - a few doors down (Def Leppard's "Too Late for Love", incidentally). It wasn't there before. Suspicious. Then he told me that a former friend of his, whom he hadn't heard from in two years, had called him up a couple of weeks ago and said if he ever saw him again, he was going to kick his ass. (Let's be clear here - NO ONE doesn't like Pooh). Pooh had also seen the shaved headed man in his car from his bedroom window. This ex-friend used to shave his head sometimes. More suspicions.

A cop from the neighboring town soon rolls up to in front of the house, and we tell him what happened. Then along comes a deputy sheriff, and we tell him what happened. Then another deputy sheriff comes, and we repeat it again. They go off to investigate the music, and at some point along the way, a light appears in the upstairs window of the unit on the opposite side of the vacant one - two doors from us.

We check out my son's car and see new scratches on the passenger side door that weren't there before. We check out mine and see it's fine. Then the police chief (in fact, the ONLY cop) from our town rolls up as well. We repeat the story again. They all ask questions, and we answer. They canvas the neighborhood looking for anything suspicious and checking to see if any of the cars are warm or disturbed.

The light in the window goes out, and this makes the chief suspicious so they go over and knock on the door.

Some guy answers and talks to them for a while. Then a while longer. And a while longer. Meanwhile, my son and I are entertaining the cute labrador puppy that came bounding out of the house when the door was opened.

The guy looks past the cops and says he's going to ask us if we know what's going on. (Um, yeah, they're here because we called, Genius). He's obviously drunk. We tell him that someone took the TomTom out of my son's car. "You mean, like a GPS?" he says. "Yeah," we say. "And someone keyed the door," I say. "Huh," he says. He goes on to tell us he understands because someone had tried to get into his car a couple of months ago. Sure. Then he says, "Well, I'll be honest with you," and he leans in to conspiratorially whisper, "I don't know who did this." Uh huh.

At this point, he turns around and looks at the empty driveway next to ours. He says, "In fact, I parked my car there. (pointing) There should be a car there." (So your car's missing and you're just NOW noticing?) "Someone took my car," he says to the cops.

Well, within seconds, he looks down toward the street where he sees his car parked at the curb in front of our house. "There it is," he says. "Someone moved my car down there." Uh huh.

He goes back off with the cops for a while, and I go in the house to get my phone again. "I'm going to tweet this," I tell my son. :)

To tell the truth, we're not terribly fussed about it. It's striking us both as enormously funny at this point. Cop number 5, who's been called in to gather evidence and possibly take fingerprints, arrives while I'm inside. (Need I remind you, this is the response for a GPS stolen from an unlocked car on a Friday night? Impressive, no?)

By the time I get back outside, my son tells me the guy doesn't actually live in that house. The neighbors who live there are gone and the cops said, "It looks like he just moved in and made himself at home." Ha! It gets better and better. Apparently, this guy lives two buildings further down the street.

Cop number 5, the detective, stands there smoking his pipe (I kid you not) while chuckling with us about the state of the guy.

Well, they bring over the TomTom and Pooh identifies it as his. They haul the guy off in cuffs and explain to my son that his TomTom will be processed as evidence. He'll get it back in six to eight weeks.

Thanks to his little adventure, drunk guy got charged with theft (for the GPS) and burglary (for hiding out in the neighbor's house). (Btw, we're in a town of fewer than 700 people. No one locks their cars and a lot of people don't lock their houses.) Note that he wouldn't have even been caught if he'd just sat behind the closed door and left the light off until the cops left. Brilliant. Now he's sitting in jail with a $12,067 bail.