"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Volcanic rant

According to Wikipedia (sorry, I'm not researching any harder than that, but I'm going to assume I can take their word on this one) "The principal components of volcanic gases are water vapor (H2O), carbon dioxide (CO2), sulfur either as sulfur dioxide (SO2) (high-temperature volcanic gases) or hydrogen sulfide (H2S) (low-temperature volcanic gases), nitrogen, argon, helium, neon, methane, carbon monoxide and hydrogen. Other compounds detected in volcanic gases are oxygen (meteoric), hydrogen chloride, hydrogen fluoride, hydrogen bromide, nitrogen oxide (NOx), sulfur hexafluoride, carbonyl sulfide, and organic compounds. Exotic trace compounds include methyl mercury, halocarbons (including CFCs), and halogen oxide radicals."

This makes me wonder - where are the environmentalists protesting this beast in Iceland? Will the Icelanders be charged massive fines for this pollution? After all, it was quite recently that a per-cow tax was proposed on farmers for the methane gas produced by their animals. Someone must be held responsible for this travesty. Has anyone asked Al Gore what he thinks about it? After all, this volcano is spewing forth all those chemicals that cause global warming, right? I mean, that's what they've been telling us all along. Of course, they've been telling us that we've been doing all the spewing - nature wouldn't do such a thing. Nature doesn't do anything to hurt anyone, and when it does, it's because we've messed something up. There WERE no natural disasters of any kind before man came along. Ok, I exaggerate, there just weren't as many. Certainly not enough to wipe out, oh, the dinosaurs, or anything like that.

Oooooooooh, now I see. This one's our fault too. It seems that the melting of the ice caps, caused by global warming, caused by us (we're doing all the spewing), is reducing the pressure on the crust in the frozen lands to the north and increasing volcanic activity. Not sure what we did when a volcano on Hawaii erupts, but I guess if one of those shuts down air travel ...

(Hey, that's a GOOD thing, right? Cutting back on those emissions. Do you suppose all the air travel that's been forgone will serve as the carbon credits for the volcano? I'm straying. I do that in my occasional rants. But anyway...)

so if a Hawaiian volcanic eruption gets lots of attention by shutting down air travel (Wow, that'd be a HELL of a plume, wouldn't it?) it'd get to be our fault too? Wait, let me work it out second... If there's a massive volcanic eruption in Hawaii (I mean, beyond those that CREATED the islands) it would be caused by global warming, which is caused by us (we're doing the spewing......) because it's made the oceans rise, which makes the water pressure on the sea floor surrounding the islands increase (water's heavy - more water=more heavy), which pushed down the sea floor, which pushed up the magma to cause it to break through the surface and spew forth more of those chemicals we've been pumping into the air that caused all this. Or something like that. I'm making all this up as I go along.

Or maybe, if nature is forever seeking a balance, this is Mother Earth telling us we haven't been spewing ENOUGH! More carbon dioxide! More sulfur! More (see list above)! And what about those tiny glass particles that destroy jet engines? Maybe we should be burning some fiberglass. Or just shredding it and distributing it with giant fans (solar-powered ones, of course, or maybe hydroelectric). Mother Earth does no wrong. We're screwing everything up. We should take all cues from her.

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