"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Insomnia sux

Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, I lay in bed until about 4:30 a.m. hoping against hope to finally be able to fall asleep. Fortunately (though little fortune it was), there had already been a two-hour delay called for school the next day, so I wasn't obliged to get up until 9 a.m. to get the girls up. I did that, and afterward, I'd planned on going back to bed to try to catch a little more. To no avail. I got a call from the office and had things to do. *Sigh*

Last night was worse. I was awake until 5 a.m., and there was no delay announced in advance for the snow, so I had to be up at 7 a.m. When I got up, it turned out they DID decide to delay school after all. I went back to bed hoping for another hour or so of sleep, but then there was a knock on my door. A very loud, very insistant knock. It was the mother of the girls' best friends, who'd come into town unaware of the school delay. She said she had a doctor's appointment and asked if her girls could stay with me until school started. My girls had already gotten up - and they frequently spend the night at her house on weekends - so of course, I was not going to refuse her. So for the next two hours, I was in charge of four girls ages 8-12.

I entertained the notion of trying to ease myself into some sleep after they'd gone, but naturally, I got an e-mail from work (I get the notifications on my Blackberry, so I always know when there's an e-mail even if I'm not on my computer). I had more work to do just then.

I couldn't hold a clear thought for a second without some coffee, so I fixed myself a cup and took care of the work that needed to be done.

Of course, now, there's no possibility of getting back to sleep for this morning. The best I can hope for is a nap this afternoon if the possibility presents itself.

I'm taking a pill tonight. As much as I try to avoid it, I can't keep going on like this. I haven't been asleep before 3:30 a.m. in at least a week - and I never seem to be able to manage that feat more than once a week, anyway. The last two nights have been worse than usual.

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