Is there anything more stressful and nerve-racking than looking for a job?
Having been kept well-occupied by my freelance work, I don't even really feel like I have been out of work. However, now the opportunity has come up to return to the fray full time... and I want it.
The job is with the same newspaper company I've been working with for more than 10 years. It's a different position - and likely a different paper than one of my three "home" papers - but I still want it. I'm certainly qualified for it. I am, of course, a little nervous, after what happened with my last venture away from home in the work force. I often think that I should have stayed where I was. I suppose I really had no way of knowing how it would turn so dreadfully bad on me. There was no possible way to anticipate such a twisted, sociopathic publisher would be willing to act against the best interests of his own paper in order to further his petty need to manipulate and control lives. Then again, perhaps it could have been anticipated. That was his traditional behavior. However, I never had the opportunity to discover that until it was too late - and I likely would have still refused to believe it possible to the degree that I later found to be true.
All I can hope for is that my true performance will stand stronger to the publisher who knows me and my work ethic, and that a better future awaits me.