I'm so tired lately, and sad, and feeling utterly overwhelmed.
How can I get all this work done that I need to do when I have no energy - and no motivation. I am responsible for doing so much work for a paper that won't even hire me as an actual employee. Well, it's not the paper - or the editor - it's the stupid company. So I'm working and working and working for a company that won't give me a job. And I need to find a job, but I have no strength. I have no energy.
I just feel like there's a massive hole in my life, and nothing's going right, and I don't even have the will to try because it all seems so hopeless.
Top it off that with the fact that I've fallen - far too hard - for someone who can't even begin to consider being with me. And I find myself dwelling on him all the time. He's become more aware of it and has taken to avoiding me, so now I miss the friendship we had as well. It's my own fault - mostly. He'd always let me believe there could be possibilities - even saying that he knew it would be wonderful - but whenever I've confronted him with taking action on the idea, he's backed away. So rather than just letting well enough be, I had to go and push him again. So now I'm greatly feeling his absence as he's pulled away again.
If I can't even bring myself to think positively about anything, how can I make anything right again?
Hither and yon