"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Monday, February 23, 2009

Survival mode

Ok, so here's the scoop: My brain has been seriously occupied all weekend with a major financial hit that arrived in my mail on Friday. It seems I won't be receiving a tax refund this year. It was diverted to cover a student loan that had gone into default. Of course, the loan went into default because my regular paycheck does not cover my regular bills. What gets me through each year is the tax refund check, which adds the buffer to cover the shortfall in my check. Basically, what it does is cover my rent for several months while my check covers the rest of expenses. What that buffer runs out, it gets really tight. My mother usually has to pick up the difference, and I thank and appreciate her profusely for it - believe me. Things are always tightest in January, right before the check comes, and then finally, I can breathe again for a few months.
So this year, I can't breathe. My rent will be going up very soon (new municipal water installation). My paycheck will be even smaller than usual for at least two months because we were required to take mandatory unpaid time off. I've put off doing things that needed to be done because we couldn't afford it - like going to the dentist or getting Gin's eye checked for the next step in restoring her vision. Our cable's been off for a couple of months now - that won't be coming back. I can't replace my desktop computer, which is officially frozen on the Blue Screen of Death now.
I'm going to have to get creative on bringing in some more money, but I still don't think it's going to be enough. Honestly, the inevitable result of this as far as I can see is that the kids and I are going to have to move in with my parents. Starting over...yet again.
So anyway, that's what's been on my mind....

1 comment:

Bea said...

Hang in there...I know it's tough, I've been there. I've had that knot in the pit of my stomach for months, it seems, but it does get better. It sounds like you have great kids and a great mom, and that can make things easier.
I'm going to lose my job in about 60 days, and I'm having trouble finding a new one, so I'm another one that is depending on the tax refund.
I wish I had some great advice and a sure-fire way to come up with some extra cash, but, alas, nothing has occurred to me yet. You'll be the first one to know when I do think of something, though.
Good luck and God bless!!