As each day passes, it seems that life is weighing more heavily upon my already overburdened shoulders. And even the little things I had to bring me a shallow and temporary moment of escape or joy are being lost to me one by one.
At least I have one small thing to look forward to - or I might anyway. And even that is still months away, if I really have it to look forward to it at all. I don't know what to believe anymore. But I need something to believe in. I need something to hope for, and I need something I hope for to actually come to pass.
Every day I wonder how I will manage to get through to the next. And then get through the next. Each day it gets harder, and I wonder if it will ever end. I wonder if I will ever get to a day when I won't fear the next and the next. If there will ever be a day that I can feel warm sunshine and loving arms and soft kisses and know that I am safe and loved and finally whole.