"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Friday, July 25, 2008

And I wonder....

Well, my boss "negotiated" three days a week in the office for me - Monday, Wednesday and Friday - starting next week. I guess it's a good thing I've got this weekend off, at least. I don't think I'll be staying with this long. With all the work I've given this company for completely inadequate pay, they've got to go and make it harder for me (and even less lucrative). It's hardly worth all my effort, but I don't know how to half-ass my way through a job. I guess that means I'd better find a place that appreciates me.

Munch had a taste for sushi tonight - and once she mentioned it, so did I. I considered taking the girls down to the sushi place, but I decided to save myself a little cash and make it myself. I managed to find a decent salmon fillet - a serious challenge around here - and some crab, so we had ourselves a sushi feast at a fraction of the cost of going to the restaurant. And the girls LOVED it! Me too, in fact. :)

My favorite distraction has gone off to a festival this weekend, so we won't have our marathon chat sessions. We are staying in touch via text message, of course, and he even called me again. I've hit a small financial stumbling block on my Chicago trip, but he's determined, so I'm determined as well. I deserve it. He does too, for that matter. And if he's willing to come all the way from England just to see me, I certainly have to make any effort I can to make it happen.

I can't quite shake this melancholy that's come over me the past few days. It seems my radio is conspiring against me, and I'm being barraged with commercials for this new movie out on DVD. Grrr..... I want to watch it, but I don't know if I can. It's got too many memories connected to it. Wish I'd read that script now...... Spending the time "otherwise occupied" turned out to be utterly pointless in the long run. All of it turned out pretty pointless. It hurts that I gave so much, and yet, I never even mattered. I was just filling the space until something else came along. I'm better than that. Fortunately, now I have someone who recognizes that fact.

Pooh's gone off to Cleveland to see the Foo Fighters tonight. I would have loved to have gone, but even that would have associations for me. I was listening to Everlong on my mp3 player one afternoon in a hotel room in Seattle, when I opened my eyes....
Hello. I've waited here for you...Everlong

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