Insomnimusing: Allons-y!

I'm so excited! I found live soccer online! It's at www.justin.tv (I'm not affiliated - just a fan!). As far as I can see, it looks like every game at any given moment is on there. It's frickin' awesome! ;P I am completely burned out with work. My internet connection has been hinky all weekend (my neighbor's too). It went out yesterday morning, so I had to go into the office to work. Pissed me off. I wasn't even supposed to have to work this Saturday, and I ended up having to go into the office. It's time for me to start my column, and I'm blank. I have no motivation whatsoever. No inspiration either. I'm having ice cream now. Maybe it will perk me up. Seeing as I've gone from 123 pounds to 106 pounds in the last three months, I figure I can eat all the ice cream I want. I did some Pilates this morning, and my tummy still feels strong and tight. It's a great feeling. (Couldn't finish the ice cream - passed it off to Munch, who was mor...

Munch and I spent about four hours this evening working on her studies. It seems a bit much for a seven-year-old, but she powered through it well and did much better staying on task. I was proud of her, and I think the new routine will work well for her. Gin even wanted to get in on it (I think she missed her sister a little bit), so she did spelling drills with her. I was looking forward to finally having a weekend off, but it seems I'll have to work this Saturday as well. That will make 13 straight days without a day off. I'll have Sunday during the day, but I have to write my column Sunday evening. The office is closed Monday, but of course, we'll still be publishing - just earlier. Press deadline is midnight Sunday night, so I'll be up working most of the night. At least the kids are out of school Monday, so once I finish work, I'll go to sleep without an alarm clock. I'll have Pooh watch the girls so I can try to catch up on a little sleep. I've got a ...

I spent the morning and early afternoon working at the office, as well as a great deal of time on the phone with my cell phone customer service again. I figured out that the sudden horrid reception was a handset rather than a network problem, so I took the phone back to the store and exchanged it for a new one. That meant numbing my thumb programming all my contacts - again. I checked out the international texting, and it seems to be the same as it has been. Of the three people I talk to in the UK, I can send and receive texts to two of them, but I can only receive from the third. I still can't figure out how the heck that's happened. After that stressful day, I decided to treat the family to their very favorite meal - sushi. I didn't have the time to make it, but I had to run out for some things for school, so I called in an order to pick some up. We all seemed to feel better after all of the recent craziness, just to get a special meal and time together. After dinner, Gin...

You know, I love Facebook. If I had a real life, my friend list might be populated by people I already know. I've got a few there, but my life circumstances have left me pretty isolated, so the vast majority of my Facebook friends have been random adds. I don't mean I'm just strolling around clicking "Add as a friend." I mean I've joined groups, added applications, commented on photos - that sort of thing - and although I've sent a few friend requests, most are people who have sent them to me. I almost always accept, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood to deal with the uncertainty of anyone new, so I'll just turn away everyone who happens to send a request at the wrong time. I like people who are friendly and want to talk sometimes. I've developed some really nice friendships with some of them that are just as real as "real life." I also don't mind the folks who just need more people to play a game or the ones who add me and ne...

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Grr.... Can I get away with just that? That pretty much sums it up. Work. Home. Kids. Cell phone service (or, disservice). Internet connection. Money. People. Men. Grrrrr... It's Monday, and I'm glad it ends in - from this moment - 23 minutes. Thank goodness, because today has lasted about six days already.

Hey! My last post was my 200th, and I didn't even notice until just now! Wow....I just don't shut up, do I? It was a long and busy day, but I'm too tired now to write about it. I've had too little rest and too much activity these past few days. Sleep now.....

I snapped today, or could have anyway. Maybe half a snap or a little explosion, sort of spread out over a few hours. I'm fed up. I can't help it. I'm working on a Saturday, popping out every so often to tell the kids - AGAIN - to clean up, and by the time I'm through with work, there's not one square foot of my house that isn't in shambles. After five hours of telling them to clean up, it's five times worse than it was when it started. They're 18, 10 and 7 years old. There's no excuse for it. I went into the living room after finishing my work - my job - and they were all sitting around in their pile of filth watching television. When I'm working at home, Pooh's in charge of the girls. At 18, he should be able to manage that. But even so, I still check up on them at least once an hour or so, and every single time I did, I turned off the TV and told them to get to work cleaning up their messes. Of course, I ended up having to clean the mess, b...

It was a day in the office today, and what a day it was. The ad manager (who is, btw, the busybody who decided to complain to the publisher that I should be working in the office instead of from home) called a meeting with her ad staff, then she came over to the graphics department (which is where my desk is located) and called all of them in as well. She specifically said, "Not you, Rachel," so I was left sitting in an empty office with no idea of what was going on. No big deal. I figured it was an ad thing and didn't involve me. A couple of hours later, the editorial staff met. Circulation had a meeting at some point in there too. So what's the big news? Fortunately, one of the graphics girls recognized that after everyone else had been told, I'd been left out. She broke the directive given in the meeting specifically to NOT mention it to me. Seems two of our papers are moving to a morning delivery instead of the afternoon as they are now. This does not affect t...

I'm newly single (three months now) after a nearly three-year relationship that was preceded by a three-year "man moratorium." Before that I was engaged to a man I'd known for most of my life, and before that I was married. Obviously, I need to hone my flirting skills as I re-enter the world of singles. What better way to do that than try out Extreme Style by VO5's Ultimate Flirting Championship ? I tried it out and met up with MEATHEAD and MAXHOLDMAX. After a few Dating Game-style questions, MEATHEAD was my pick for his subtle sexiness, but MAXHOLDMAX came close for his silly sense of humor. You even get to chat during the game, and once you make your pick, you get to have a private chat with the winner. In my quest for Victory Hair , I'll need to be at my peak. What is Victory Hair? That's when you go out with sexy, stylin' hair and spot that hottie sporting his own sexy style, get close, get friendly, and get mussed up. Getting the sexy, stylin'...

I spent a fair amount of time on the phone with customer service again yesterday trying to get my international texting problem solved. Curiously, it seems to be half working now. G was able to send me a text, but when I replied, he didn't receive it. Grrrr..... They've opened another investigation into it. Fat lot of good it seems to be doing. I've kind of preferred being in the office the past couple of days, although, I would have had the house to myself now that the kids are back in school. One more day to go then I'm back to my regular Monday, Wednesday, Friday in-office schedule. I'm working all weekend again, so that will be at home. I was chatting with a coworker as I was packing up to leave today and walked out without my laptop's power cord and mouse. But at least I don't have to go all the way back in for it, since I'll be in the office tomorrow anyway. Hey, by the way, in case you felt there was something missing in your life, apparently Davi...

Hey, school just started! Are you ready to think about your holiday shopping yet? Ugh - crawling out of bed at 3 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving to stand in the midst of a grumpy, shivering crowd waiting to be among the first to kick, bite, shove, elbow or otherwise maneuver yourself into position to pick up some great must-have bargain of which only six are in stock for the day at the special low price. Or maybe you have a job like mine, and you'll be working (almost thankfully) on that Friday morning. Personally, I can't stand the crowds and chaos of the holiday shopping season, so I'll do whatever I can to avoid it. That used to mean waiting until 2 a.m., and shopping during the overnight hours. More recently, though, I do the vast majority of my holiday shopping online, so I can still get the savings and avoid all the hassle of the stores. This year, I'll be checking out the thanksgiving ads at iBlackFriday.com. Here you'll find scans of all the Black Friday a...

As predicted, my first two days of this week have been a scramble of activity despite not having to work in the office. But, school starts tomorrow, and the girls are all set to go. I've even managed to corral them into bed at a decent hour. I spend my next three days in the office though - joy. It just gets better and better. The whole evening's slipped away from me, and I really must sleep now.

It's been a scramble of activity this afternoon and evening after my rare weekend off. I got started on the school supply shopping and sorting, as well as the clothes shopping...the sorting isn't going quite as well there. But the girls will be set to start up on Wednesday, anyway. Pooh starts his first day at work tomorrow. Of course, he neglected to tell me his schedule, so I've just had to send of an e-mail to my boss explaining that I'll have to spend my three days in the office this week Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. What joy. Three days in a row. Of course, I needed to get to the school tomorrow, so being home will help there. Time for bed. This week is going to be anything but easy.

Before I took over as webmaster for our newspaper group, I used to work as the editor of the lifestyles section for one of the papers. In that position, one of my duties was publicizing charitable events in our community. Each year, one of my favorite projects was the Alzheimer's Memory Walk . The organizer of our local event was a woman who's father had been a banker. She told how he had always been the rock of the family - a strong and solid provider, with a gentle, loving touch. She told of the pain at watching Alzheimer's taking away his once-brilliant mind, slowly watching the essence of who he was slip away over the course of a few years until he was gone. The Alzheimer's Association's Memory Walk is the nation's largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer's care, support and research. It provides an opportunity for volunteers of all ages, from all walks of life, to participate in the fight against this disease that relentlessly steals ...

It's that time of year again. School starts in just three short days, and I'm completely behind in preparations this year. This seems as though it's been the longest summer of my life, and yet, when it comes to school prep, it seems to have flown by. I'm starting out so far behind. I have to get over to the school tomorrow to pay book fees. That's $110 right off the bat. I still have to get school supplies, because I wasn't able to get the supply list until last week. I figure at least another $150 or so there, in addition to the basic items I've been picking up here and there over the past few weeks. And of course there's new clothes. New clothes are going to be slim this year - a bigger challenge because the girls seem to have both grown by leaps and bounds over this summer. We've got all the logistics to work out too, getting back into the old school routine. Let's throw into the havoc the fact that Pooh's starting at college next week. Th...

Times are tough out there these days. We do what we can to save money, but sometimes, even working full-time and pinching pennies often isn't enough to pay all the bills that come with taking care of your home and family. All too often we have to turn to using credit just to try to make ends meet. But as well know, using credit translates into having even more bills to pay. What's a person to do? Freedom Debt Relief is a company that can work with you to help you see the light at the end of that tunnel, often in as little as 12 to 36 months by lowering your debts to as low as half of what you owe. And at the completion of the program, if Freedom Debt Relief hasn't been able to reduce your debt by at least three times the cost of the service fees, then a portion of those fees will be refunded to equal one-third of your total debt reduction, so basically, you're guaranteed to come out ahead. Freedom Debt Relief goes beyond from many other programs out there offering to h...

I have to admit, I thought it was hysterical when I looked at my stats and saw that I was getting Google search hits from searches on "watch secret pleasures movie." (search without quotes) I swear, I didn't know there WAS a movie called Secret Pleasures (although it certainly screams "movie title," doesn't it?" Anyway, it got my curiosity up, so I went to Google and searched "secret pleasures." Much to my surprise, my blog didn't appear on the front page of results - so why have I been getting hits on it? Well, I checked a little more closely and saw that, although this blog doesn't appear near the top for "secret pleasures," it does come up SECOND in results for the search "watch secret pleasures movie" (no quotes in search) on Google. So actually the even LESS relevant search phrase brings my blog post higher in the results. I love my unintended search traffic. Praise Google and its grand, mysterious algorithm! I...

I've been in a great mood today, and I don't really know why. Well, maybe a little. :) But still, it was a day in the office - I should have been a grump. I like talking to the girls in graphics though. We all get along really well. They're not excessively chatty, and we have intelligent conversations as well as some lighter exchanges. I can't stand listening to the ad girls on the other side of the wall most of the time, although, I do get to occasionally hear some juicy info. I'll be moving back over to the editorial side soon. It's REALLY quiet over there most of the time. The reporters and editors all spend their time hunched over their computers working with almost no idle chatter, ever. And the reporters are, of course, frequently out of the office too. The only noise comes from the phone conversations, all work-related. I like the quiet atmosphere, but I have gotten used to the more balanced atmosphere in graphics. It will be interesting to see if I becom...

How about a little fun background info on me? I was born the 14th - and last - child of my father, to his sixth wife, Liz. (The only child of that particular pairing.) I was her second child. The first was from her first husband. My father was her second husband. (My father was 31 when I was born. Yes, that's right. Six wives and divorces, and 14 children by the time he was 31.) Her first child is my older half-sister, DJ. (Keeping up so far?) Liz did not want children, particularly girls, so when they divorced, and my father went on immediately to wife number 7, he brought us girls along. (The previous 13 children of his were with his previous wives and girlfriends who bore them.) My father's seventh wife adopted me, and both my father and adoptive mother (hereafter known as MY MOTHER - she's Nana to my babies) adopted DJ. (Curiously, my birth mother went on to marry a third husband - and have two more children, including the boy she wanted. So that makes me one of 16 tota...

I'm actually starting to get a little lonely... to the point that I'm almost looking forward to going in to the office tomorrow. Egads! How can it have gotten so bad? Well, I got used to talking to P every day, of course...then he dumped me. Then I was talking to my ooooooooolllllllllllddddd friend B for a while, and I started talking to Z every day then. Now B's all preoccupied with his new love. Z's on a trip abroad and out of touch, so I won't know if I'll still have txt contact with him until he gets back. G's on vacation, so ditto on the txts there. D sent another, so I know those work, but I rarely talk to him anyway. We played a little poker tonight on Facebook, but then he vanished without a word. Hmph! Pooh's even volunteered to make dinner tonight, and I've got too many hours in at work already, so I'm not working either. Leaves me with some free time. I'll watch some Olympic coverage later. I could do some housework. I could babble...

I still can't figure out the problem with the international texting on my phone. I managed to catch my friend D in Manchester on Facebook, so I asked him if I could experiment with him. I tried three different ways of sending, and finally, on the third try, it worked!!! My text went through, and his reply came in. Great! Problem solved!..... Wrong. Of course when I thought that I had it worked out, I sent texts to Z and to G to see if those would work yet. (Text worked fine with Z on my old phone - but nothing has gone through on the new one... I'd never tried G on the old one, so I have no frame of reference there.) Anyway, I've gotten no response from either, and it's been a while now.... so apparently, there's still a problem. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that they're both traveling... Can't see how. The first attempt I made to G didn't work, and he was home in London then. I might have to wait for Z to get home to see if that works...

I woke up at 5 a.m. to watch Italy play S. Korea in soccer, and apparently my schedule was wrong. The game was not on. I managed to fall back to sleep and got up at 8 to start working and find out when the game was on - it had started 15 minutes earlier. I got to watch all the good stuff though. They're worth losing a little sleep over. :) I was saddened to read the news of Isaac Hayes' death today. He is most significant to me for his role as Tolok on Stargate SG-1. I'm still a huge fan of the show despite recent events (but I still can't bring myself to watch Continuum). It's harder still for Gate fans so soon after the loss of Don S. Davis. We seem to be losing a lot of celebrities unexpectedly this year. Bernie Mac was lost this week as well. I've been kind of caught up in the coverage of the Olympics, which is a little unusual for me, to tell the truth. It's probably because I was so eager to watch international soccer again. It seems I picked a good ye...

Not only did the Chinese put on the most spectacular opening ceremony ever seen at the Olympics, they actually even controlled the WEATHER to do it!!!! Oh yeah.....no way in hell London's going to be able to top this one.... I'm posting early tonight because I'm getting up at 5 a.m. To work? Well, yes - I do have to work in the morning, but it could wait until 8 a.m. So why am I getting up at 5 a.m. on a Sunday? To watch Italy play soccer against South Korea. I got to watch them play Honduras on the NBC website. It looks like the boys have got some skills. I was a little disappointed to see that the whole team save one is under 21, and they could have had three over 23. They're still quite good. I just don't feel quite as comfortable drooling over them. :) I was hoping for Luca Toni. Mmmm......... I'm watching the end of one of my favorite movies - Serendipity. I just happened to catch it from the very beginning tonight. It's the first I've seen in it a...

It was another work day in the office today, so I got to overhear some more idle office chatter. Today's revelation: One coworker's husband refuses to sleep facing the open side of his pillowcase. She said that he is afraid he will fall in and suffocate in the night. Furthermore, he claims that he does this not for himself but for the good of his wife - so that he does not fall in, suffocate, and then blame her for trying to kill him in his sleep. *!*???*!* Is it hypocritical that I watched the opening ceremonies to the Olympics while burning a candle for Tibet? I have to say though, as a Taoist in the West, I loved seeing the broad exposure for some beautiful Eastern symbolism and history and culture. And honestly, it was by far the most spectacular production I have ever seen. As Li Ning flew around the stadium on his way to light the cauldron, Bob Kostas said it: "When it comes to opening ceremonies, retire the trophy." No doubt. It's a little sad. There's ...

It was a little lonely today without Z peeking out from inside my computer. Obviously, I'm liking having him around. I did get a text message from him though, which confirms that my international texting is indeed working. I think my new contact number might be wrong..... I've double-checked it. It's what was given to me. But apparently the test text I sent never arrived. Hmmm.... Odd... I do like the new phone though. I'd like it if I got more calls though. I love having Rob Thomas serenade me. :) I spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting today. I've certainly had some moments in the past few months. There were times when I felt like I was losing my mind, and I know there were some times that others must have thought I was. It all makes sense to me though. I was in love with a man who played with my emotions like a yo-yo. And I feel my emotions very intensely. I love with every part of me. It gets harder and harder for me to open myself up to that kind of vulne...

Oh, what a day..... I burned a bridge...I bought a phone....I said goodbye....I made a new connection....I reached a new level... Two men I once loved both told me today that they were in love. (Not with each other. Not with me either, btw.) One of them is a friend, and one of them is not. The one who is not might have been, but I burned that bridge. It will never be now. I wish them both the best of luck. I really do. My phone died on me today. I was in the middle of trying to send a text message to my dear Z who's leaving on a trip today, and the screen went blank. When I tried the phone again, the colors went odd. Halfway through writing another text, the screen went dark again. Turning it on and off didn't work. Taking out the battery. Charging it and redoing all of the above. So I went out and bought a new phone. Fortunately, I found one I think I'll like from the same service, so I was able to swap my number immediately and get right back in touch with the world. I ev...

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It's been such a hard day inside my own head. Sometimes I almost feel as if I can't possibly stand it any longer. I'm trying to recover, but every day I have someone coming in and rubbing my face in my loss, my failure, my unworthiness. I'm not all that surprised at it from her. He surprises me though. I thought he was a better man than that. Well, that was just stupid. He said even if we weren't together we would always be there for each other, always be part of each other's lives. I thought that meant we'd be friends. He didn't tell me that it meant he'd be pointing and laughing at me from a distance as I writhe in pain. I know, I know. It sounds like melodrama. I couldn't begin to describe how I felt before, so of course, I can't begin to describe what it feels like now. It's deliberate cruelty, and I feel as if I have no defense against it. I have no power at all. All I can do is ask that it stop. And I have asked. It made me mad toda...

I've been doing some self-administered art therapy..... This is part one.