"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Got through the first day...


I slept for half an hour Sunday night - or really Monday morning - just long enough to get to wake up the realization that I am alone. How pathetic that sounds. I can't eat. I'm not sure where to begin. The ripples haven't even begun. I'm a little afraid to even go outside. He's everywhere. Or he's just in me. Either way, I don't know quite how to escape him.
I sat for a time and wept in the arms of my babies yesterday. Then I played tennis with my daughter for a little while. Then I took my girls to lunch (I managed to eat half a small side salad - that was all for yesterday except a rice cake last night.) I made a quick trip to the grocery store. I can't believe how BAD this feels - even though I know that I deserve better and that he is not shedding a tear for me.
I'm so grateful for the support I have received. Thank you to those of you who know who you are. I've discovered real friendship where I did not recognize it before - and I see much more. Thank you for the hope.
I got through Day One. I'm beginning Day Two. Still feel like I'm afflicted with some malaria/flu mash-up, but we'll see how it goes. Even already this morning, my friends have been there. Wow.
(I will try not to turn this into one of those brooding recovery from a failed relationship blogs - just give me a few days, ok? I will return to my effervescent irresistibility. Hehe.)


1 comment:

Kat said...

It always tough to go through I know, hang in there and belive that it will all work out in the end, you never know your prince charming may be waiting for you too