"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Taking an early look inside

I can step outside myself to observe in my meditations, and I am fascinated by the progressions and fluctuations of my psyche. It is in flux, it seems, with my persona setting me in one direction, while my anima sees a different course. My heart seeks logic while my head is confronting chaos.
From my perspective as the observer, I can see the turmoil. Centering this soul and finding peace will take some considerable effort. Inside I see gray. It is indicative of the muddling within me.

I need to pause this chronicle to focus inside for a moment....

(Ed. note: pause for meditation here)

Cacophony. There is no more accurate term for it. It wasn't gray at all. It was a hundred thousand things. Images and conversations. Emotions. Memories. Subtle tones and scents and flavors. There is no sorting this just yet. I will first have to embrace it, and I am not yet able to reach directly into the heart of the hurricane. There is a resolution to this though. It is within my reach.

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