"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Monday, August 31, 2009

That awkward age

I discovered today that I am officially at "that awkward age." Ok, so there are lots of "awkward ages," I suppose. But anyway, I'm at one of them, no question. I am fast approaching my 37th birthday (ouch!), but I still look young enough that I've been ID'd twice in the past week. I was even told at my last job by one of the old lady volunteers that she thought I was one of the TEEN volunteers. So I look young. But my, um, outlook, I guess, is right on target or beyond. I've always been older than my age. I was correcting the grammar of my family members when I was 4. I was actively interested and involved in politics by the time I was 8 (and I was in a completely apolitical family, btw). I'd read most of the works of Shakespeare - just for fun - by the time I was 12. You get the idea, so enough with the preamble.

The thing is, when it comes to men, I still look at a 24 year old as a perfectly legitimate target and completely within my range. But I also look at older men and find myself thinking, "Oh yeah, I'd date him," granted while in the back of my mind I'm also saying, "By the way, I'm not as young as I look - trust me." So tonight I was at a meeting for work, and there was an older man there. Very handsome, very distinguished, amiable and good sense of humor (nice smile, too) - and I was sitting there the whole time watching him. I saw no wedding ring - yes, I checked - but he was just the type of guy who's either married or widowed. I found myself hoping it was the latter. I knew he had to be at least 60, but I still couldn't help finding him very appealing. So I looked him up online when I got home. No luck there. He is married. And 65. Stranger still, if he weren't married, I'd still want to go out with him.

Don't worry too much about me though. I've got an actual date coming up with someone - and he's exactly my age.

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