Insomnimusing: Allons-y!

I'm feeling a little directionless lately, and yet, I'm strangely content, too. I feel like I'm at a beginning here, and there's a world of possibilities open in front of me. There's nothing to stop me from diving right in. For once, I feel as if I could go anywhere if I just put myself out there.

I finally got to have a nice relaxing Sunday. I didn't have to wake to an alarm clock, but for some reason I was awake at 7 a.m. anyway. Oh yeah, I was awakened by a text alert for a message from my friend S, an Italian residing in Greece. I'm still a bit confused by his correspondence. I can't quite read the tone of it. Hmmm..... Still, it IS sort of intriguing, and he has some lovely, interesting qualities. But my focus is elsewhere, and as long as G continues to give me any encouragement at all, I suspect he'll be remaining fairly securely at the top of my interests in that regard. There's a "something" there. Great game today. As a newbie with no particular loyalties, I thought Spain deserved the win. They've had an amazing tournament. It's too bad David Villa couldn't participate in the final. Top goal scorer of the tournament though! Not bad! According to the results of my poll, I see about half of you weren't watching Euro '08 - ...

I keep seeing this commercial lately for this procedure called Artefill that can fill the lines around your mouth and take years off your face. Well, I'm 35 now, and I'll admit, sometimes I'm not thrilled with what I see in the mirror. Accepting the fact that I now have an ADULT son hasn't been easy either. And I'm single again. But I like my prospects. :) Anyway, I came across this contest sponsored by Artefill for a $10,000 makeover! "Hey, why not?" I say! The contest is for women 35 years and older, and all you need to do is submit an essay about a life-changing experience and how you got through it and how it changed you. Well, I have one of those. Any of my regular readers have gotten their fill of it, I'm sure. My breakup (or whatever the end of that undefined relationship should be called) was hard on me, but I'm seeing a light at the end of that tunnel. And that light is the rest of my life. It's coming, regardless of what I do, so I...

I'm a hopeless romantic You tell me I'm a naive idealist You've said "Why do you like me?" You ask Not realizing how beautiful You are You make me smile That's why

I'm still quite tired today. I went 23 hours up yesterday - driving, walking, rollercoastering - then four hours sleep before getting up to work this morning. I learned some new html bells and whistles I hadn't known before, so I created the project that was put forth to me last minute by the ad girls. Isn't it always the way? Someone gets a "brilliant" idea, then someone else (me) gets to do the work to make it happen...then someone else gets money off the deal somehow. But anyway, I was very proud of myself for what I did - even if no one notices the work that went into it. Yesterday was insanely long but a lot of fun. We got to do most of the best coasters. I did Top Thrill Dragster with Pooh, because Gin backed out at the last minute. It was great, but the thrill was the speed (120 mph/190kph) rather than the height (420 feet/130 meters). The best was by far the Millenium Force - which had slipped under my pre-trip radar. Those were the top two, but we all de...

I'm smiling, though I'm mourning the loss of some of my favorite curls. :) And yet, I DO still like....yes. :) Hehe. I'm getting whole NEW ideas. Hehe. We've had severe weather warnings all night, and it looks as if it's finally about to strike. The forecasts call for more tomorrow. I hope it doesn't spoil our day at Cedar Point. I've had a few too many memories today. I go longer and longer without them now, but still, some occasionally do start to burrow their way back up to the front of my thoughts. I might miss posting tomorrow, but I'll be Twittering and updating my mobile Facebook, I'm sure. Some ties can't be broken. :) I'll have LOTS of pictures later, though! I plan to take a TON! Yay! I'm so looking forward to some adrenaline! Oooohh! Lightning!

I awoke to one sweet word this morning, and I think I've decided it's my new favorite word in the world. :) (Even though I had to look it up. I might have to brush up on my Italian.) I spent my morning working and early afternoon at the bank trying to open a savings account for Munch with my mother. Always fun. Now I know why I conduct as much of my business as possible online. I really don't like people. At least not in certain situations. Some situations are just easier without people to deal with. Thank goodness soccer is on again tomorrow. I'm suffering withdrawal.

My pace seems to have caught up with me. Not only did I somehow fall asleep during the game yesterday (woke up in time for the all-important end though...it was a deserved win for Spain, but I was was still saddened to see the Azzurri knocked out of the tournament), but I even came home from the office today and fell asleep again. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I've been operating on too much coffee and too little sleep for too long now. I awoke to the news this morning of George Carlin's death. He was always a favorite of mine. When I went into the office, of course, he was the first topic of conversation on everyone's lips. (I did hear one person say, "who's George Carlin?" - which just made me cringe.) I'm afraid I'm not very inspired to write today. Maybe more tomorrow. I need to rest up for my day off. It will be a lot of fun, I know, but it's going to be a very long day too.

What a busy weekend this is shaping up to be! Fortunately, it got off on a great foot, and it's been pretty good, too. Friday night I got an unexpected text that put such a smile on my face that I was still grinning in the morning. In fact, I'm still grinning now. Saturday was the usual - work, pick up Book, lunch, pick up the girls, more work - soccer!! - dinner... long. I got to have a lovely long chat with a dear new friend though. That was a very nice smile too. In fact, that one's still got me grinning, too. Well, I've finished my work for this morning. Still got a column to write tonight. And my usual long Sunday awaits (but more soccer too! Can't WAIT for today's game!). Oh, and I got confirmation on my Cedar Point tickets, so our trip is on! Only one more thing could boost my mood even further right now... Still got my fingers crossed on that one. :)

I have to admit I find it fascinating how the Bush administration is taking its place in history as another Nixon White House. This president jeered as a country bumpkin is coming to be known more as the head of the most manipulative, corrupt government machine since that period. Once portrayed merely as a fool, George Walker Bush is skewing and twisting in the public eye, fast becoming a representation of the Face of Evile. (intentional extra 'e') Even his own former supporters are beginning to see the error of their ways and recognize the rose-colored glasses of their belief in an ideal blinded them to the truth. The latest headlines have been generated thanks to revelations in the new book by Bush former Press Secretary Scott McClellan. I haven't read the book yet, but I can assure you that I will as soon as possible. Just reading the news stories generated and listening to interviews with the author himself, I'm watching the house of cards tumbling down around Georg...

I woke up to a smile in my inbox this morning, and it stayed with me the whole day. :) I took the girls out for sushi for lunch. The ladies at the sushi place just love us. For months after they opened, every time we came in they were just fascinated by the fact that Munch and Gin not only love their sushi (the real stuff - raw fish and everything!!), but they even eat it with chopsticks! In fact, Munch told me to specifically mention in my blog that sushi is her favorite food. When she had to write a book of her favorite things for school this year, she proudly announced to me that she was the only one in her first-grade class who'd even eaten sushi before, and she's always proud to tell everyone that it's her FAVORITE FOOD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. We got back just in time for the start of the soccer game. I was cheering for Germany just for the joy of watching Christiano Ronaldo lose. And for Michael Ballack to win. (Mmmmm......hottie!) My sports curse doesn't seem to...

I had the most horrifying dream last night, and I have no idea where the idea came from. I'd almost forgotten about it until I just visited a blog, and the writer's post for today was about a strange dream she'd just had. Here's mine: Munch and I were about a block from our house waiting at the curb in front of a house for what apparently was the end of some kind of dog race through town. The woman who lives in the house was throwing out chunks of bone and meat that were landing all around us, and we were stumbling around trying not to step on it. She started screaming at us to move just as we heard the dogs coming. Somehow, we hadn't heard them until they began to come around the corner. For some reason, Munch wouldn't move, and I was yelling at her to get out of the way. I had to half drag/half carry her, as she'd made herself stiff refusing to move. We managed to get about halfway across the yard, along the curb, toward the dogs, just behind the edge of a...

I'm up too late again - and for no good reason. Well, I could watch the Netherlands-Romania game that wasn't televised earlier. I already know the result, but I've only missed one game this tourney. I might as well keep up the record. I was cheering for the Italian win (and Romanian loss) today. Yay! They're moving on to the quarterfinals! Can I pick Luca Toni as my "footie" crush again? I don't care if he's getting panned for his performance in this tournament - he's just damn sexy. Speaking of Italians, I had a chat with a new friend today. Actually, he's been on my friend list on Facebook forever, but this is the first I've ever chatted with him. (HE contacted ME - waddya know?) He seems very nice. No "click" though, but still, he's nice. And artistic. And smart. And smokin' hot. Not the one I was hoping to hear from though. THAT one "clicked." On a completely different subject, hit this link for a potential ...

I was going through some old e-mails trying to clean up my mailbox, which is now at nearly half capacity, even with all the crap I've dumped already. In the process, I came across a challenge from a fellow writer pal to write the worst opening sentence for a work of fiction, inspired by the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest. My submission: As the illiterate, fat, out-of-work actress sat in her popcorn costume, munching away at her French fries and poised to strike at the sleeping vampire, she could not help but think that she might have misinterpreted what she thought was a menu board reading, "10 oz. stake, choice of potato, and role with butter."

Fellow moms, I'm sure, understand that the idea of simply shopping can be a daunting notion. Gathering up the kids and packing them up in the car. Bickering in the back seat. Trying to keep them corralled as you travel from shop to shop, trying to find just the right things. The kids are bored and getting hungry, and the whole experience can be exhausting. Shopping used to be fun. Now it's become a chore. Even the thrill of the "find" (after visiting dozens of retail outlets), just isn't as exciting with all the stress. Throw in gas prices these days, and it almost isn't even worth it anymore. Fortunately, these days, busy moms have alternative. Online shopping. I've been shopping online for years, and not only are the bargains bountiful and the products virtually unlimited, but I can browse thousands of shops from the comfort of my own home while the kids get to do their own thing. Sadly, shopping online comes with its own dangers, and the threat of ident...

Sunset sky in pink and gold Another day, another chapter ends Turn the page Turn the corner A new character A whole new storyline begins Hope (and fear) Light (and shadow) Life goes on

I had my usual Sunday morning (and early afternoon) of work, followed by taking Book home and stopping for lunch with the girls. We got takeout this time though, so we could come home and watch soccer. I started to feel a little too pressured though, so I figured I'd better get back out the door. After all, I paid for the Replay videos on the UEFA site, so I might as well take advantage of them. I'm catching up now, as a matter of fact. Of course, only one of the two games was televised anyway, so I'd have catching up to do anyway. So we skipped the end of the game and headed off to catch my stepdad to give him his Father's Day gift before he left for a cookout at his son's. (No one else was invited to the cookout - just dad. Nice, eh?) We stopped off for the weekly groceries, and Munch amused everyone in the deli area with her unnaturally fervent affection for Colby-Jack cheese (she stood with her palms against the glass of the deli case, gazing longingly at the ch...

I got to work early this morning, sans coffee. And after blocking my ex-pig, I headed out to pick up Book, and then to Nana's. I got to watch the first half of today's first Euro Cup game on her 60-inch TV. That was fun, and I even got my mom to watch a minute or two. Her only comment? "They should make them wear helmets if they're gonna do that stuff." I came home to watch the rest and jumped in the shower to get ready for the party. Running late. Note: trying to shave quickly in a warm shower in an air-conditioned house - BAD IDEA. Goosebumps. 'Nuff said. I couldn't locate my swimsuit, so I figured I wouldn't get to enjoy the pool. Silly me. Somehow *I* ended up being the only fully dressed person to get pushed in, so I got to spend three hours - plus more than an hour's drive home - in wet clothes. It was a very small party - much smaller than I'd expected - but we still all had a good time. The kids, of course, didn't want to ever leave...

Well, my ex-husband has refused to stay off my blog, so I've blocked his IP. He's now being redirected to this page. HAHAHA! DENIED!!!

It was an odd day today. Felt odd from the very beginning. I had some technical difficulties at work, so my work day was longer than it needed to be. Or so I'd thought. Turned out I was going to be working a long day anyway, because we had advertising issues for the site that had to be handled right up to the end of office hours. And I got a little extra work too for a project that's being planned. I'll be working this weekend anyway, so now I have an additional task. At least I got to watch the games while I was working and waiting and working and waiting. I was extremely disappointed in that totally WRONG offside call against Luca Toni that invalidated his goal and cost the Italians the win. At least they're still in it. And the Dutch blew my mind again. Wow! What a performance! The other mind-blower of today, of course, was the sudden and unexpected death of Tim Russert. As a journalist and a political junkie, I had the deepest respect for the man and his work. It...

My baby boy Pooh turned 18 today. It's a cliche, but I still remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. His dad and I were talking about him at his non-grad party last weekend, and we both agree that we're thrilled at how he's turned out. His girlfriend even thanked me for what a good job I did with him. He's loving and generous and sensitive and smart and respectful of women - always. For the child of a single, teenage mom, he's a miracle. I was so pleased when I was talking to his girlfriend, too. She said that he'd told her, "If you ever need a woman to talk to, you can always go to my mom. She'll be there for you." I'm so proud of him. It was a quiet day at home alone today. I put out more work fires, and then settled in to watch soccer. Kudos for the Croatian defense against the sleeping Germans today. They were on fire! The Austria-Poland game was fun to watch, too. Boruc was really on his game. I tried watching MLS in the eveni...

Great work day today. I got hit left and right with *this* request and *that* late file and *the other* log-in problem, and I put it all away smooth as can be. I keep proving myself, day after day. They can't have any complaints on me. I started following Barack Obama on Twitter this morning. Imagine my surprise when I saw he's now following me back. Me and the other 39,000 following him. Hehe. Oh well. I sent my ... former love ... *sigh* ... a link to a blog. The post was about the road not taken, and regrets, and taking a chance. He thanked me for understanding. *Sigh* I never had a chance. At least I had some great soccer to watch today. And i t w a s *G*R*E*A*T*!! I was disappointed that I had to sit through the announcers' constant deification of Ronaldo . Ick ick ick! You'd think he was the only player on the pitch. Don't get me started. Ick. Throw in a "pr" for good measure... High praise for the Switzerland-Turkey water polo match as well. I...

Work was painless. Then I got to watch more soccer. I'm really enjoying this . :) I signed up for Twitter , although I have no idea why. All I can figure is that I have a text plan on my cell phone, and now that what's-his-name is gone, I don't have anyone else that I usually text. So, why not do the Twitter thing? Maybe it'll make me do things so that I don't look quite so dull. Took the girls out for ice cream. Came back to watch more soccer. Hehehe. Good games today, btw. And I'm learning so much! I played a little online poker. Broke about even. Got an overseas nudge from my favorite playmate G. That's always good for a smile. :) A really BIG smile. :D Made some Thai food. It kicked ass. :) I feel good today. It's about f*cking time. Not quite over you , but getting better every day. Looks like the girls will be gone for a couple of nights this week. I might have to do something. The first thing I want to do is have a little chat. Hmm.... I'll ha...

I seem to have my appetite back. I only snacked through work, but by the time I finished, I was definitely ready to eat. I was going to cook then got a brainstorm that it might be a good idea to hit the sushi place. After all, that's where I was when I got the text message that made me lose my appetite in the first place two weeks ago. This was my opportunity to own it and not let him ruin that place - and my favorite food - for me. It was a good meal, and I left the restaurant STUFFED. When we got home, I loaded up the Replay videos from yesterday's games, and the girls and I caught up on the games we missed. I'm watching Germany and Poland now (very carefully avoided accidentally seeing the results anywhere). I paid for these, after all. You can be damn sure I'll watch every game. Especially considering the crappy USD to euro exchange rate. Fortunately, at least SOME of the games will be available through my local cable provider, so I will be able to watch some live....

Book, Gin and Munch stayed busy during big brother's grad party. Book and Nana's dog, Fluffy Munch and Fluffy Pooh's gf and Munch Pooh (third from left) and some of his pals Me and Munch

Loooooooooong day. I'm glad I didn't have to work this morning. Pooh's grad party was today, so I scooped the other three out of bed this morning and got them all headed in the same direction. As usual, Munch couldn't find her shoes. I swear she has 37 pairs of shoes, but she couldn't find any two that match. She ended up wearing her sister's. I gathered up the photos and camera (forgot the gift - but remembered the cash, so the gift was forgiven). I was a little harried already. (But somehow, I have to say, I looked fantastic. Seriously, I was gorgeous today. Hehe. It must be true. Pooh's girlfriend told me so.) Anyway, I swept the kids off to Nana's (my mom) house and ran in to pick up the meat tray and the cake and the last minute things, then back to Nana's for the party. The usual whirlwind ensued, and btw, it's 95 degrees outside with equally insane humidity. The guests were slow to trickle in, but once everyone arrived - just a few family ...

I swear I felt almost normal today. I didn't have to work this morning, so I was able to sleep a little bit later than usual. My tummy felt just a touch out of sorts, but I was able to breathe through it. I even managed a little lunch and a small dinner later too. I laughed. I smiled. I tried not to think about it, because the reality is a thousand times worse today. I'm trying not to think about it. It's a gray, dreary, wet day, and all the wind we've been having suddenly has stopped dead. We've still got the heat and the humidity, though, so the dead still is not a good thing. I wanted to take the kids out today, but there's just nothing we can do outside in this weather. I really wanted to get out and get occupied today. I don't want to think about it. I really, really hate thinking about it today. I wanted to watch soccer today, and I discovered that my local cable company (through which I also get my Internet access) was not carrying either of the game...

My ex-husband has discovered my blog. I will say this now, if you are reading this, Edward, go away. I do not want you here. And I track my stats, so I will always know if you've been here again. I'll set up an e-mail for the girls for you. ***** Now, onto other things. I had to say goodbye today. It was a very open and honest exchange. Only time will tell what happens now. I will have a friend, or I will have nothing of him in my life any more. Those are my remaining options, and even now, it is not I who will make the choice. I stopped by the office after hours with the girls to drop off my time card. I had to face my desk for the first time in two weeks, which meant taking down the picture that had made me smile, even in that place. Captured in that photo was the veeeerrrrrry beginning of it all - a shared smile, before even the first kiss, which would not come for another several hours afterward. That kiss....... s i g h ..... Afterward, the girls and I stopped to pick u...

My horoscope tells me today: "You are feeling more flexible than ever -- in your mind and in your body! This is a great day to explore a new physical exercise, like pilates or tae kwan do. Or even salsa dancing! Your quick mind will enable you to get the hang of it in no time, and you just might find the next great obsession in your life. Integrating new and different things will be a total snap for you, today, so it's a great first day on the job and a wonderful night for a first date." That's what my horoscope says. I don't think so. Not today. But then, it's early still. The forecast calls for a string of 90-degree days ahead. High humidity too. Oh joy. I woke up retching again. Understandable though. I didn't fall asleep until 5 am and woke up at 6 am, for no particular reason. Didn't really need to be up before 7:30 or so this morning. I'm thinking it was a one-off though, rather than a real return of the insomnia. We had good chat late last ...