"I want, I want, I want ... but that's crazy"

Friday, June 6, 2008

Goodbye and hello

My ex-husband has discovered my blog. I will say this now, if you are reading this, Edward, go away. I do not want you here. And I track my stats, so I will always know if you've been here again. I'll set up an e-mail for the girls for you.

*****

Now, onto other things.

I had to say goodbye today. It was a very open and honest exchange. Only time will tell what happens now. I will have a friend, or I will have nothing of him in my life any more. Those are my remaining options, and even now, it is not I who will make the choice.

I stopped by the office after hours with the girls to drop off my time card. I had to face my desk for the first time in two weeks, which meant taking down the picture that had made me smile, even in that place. Captured in that photo was the veeeerrrrrry beginning of it all - a shared smile, before even the first kiss, which would not come for another several hours afterward. That kiss....... s i g h .....

Afterward, the girls and I stopped to pick up some supplies for Pooh's grad party Sunday, then dinner out. I was starving going in. I managed two bites from my salad, a bite of pizza, about a third of a breadstick and a small dish of cottage cheese with pineapple. This really has got to stop. And I want NO MORE people telling me I have to eat! I KNOW I have to eat! I TRY to eat. This is not a hunger strike or something. I'm not doing it by choice. Personally, I'm really impressed with myself that I haven't gone out and bought a pack of cigarettes. If THIS hasn't made me revert, I think I'm safe there.

I had a very brief chat with my friend G across the pond who was up too late already. He was just returning from a night out with friends. I envy his freedom, sometimes. But he did say, "I wish you could be here now." At least someone does....and he IS a particularly nice one.... In fact, he's even considering coming my direction for a visit sometime soon. "We could make it happen," he said. I hope we do. I think it could be good for me.

Oh that reminds me.... I've got soccer to watch this weekend. Apparently, I still have some motivation to learn more about it. :)

1 comment:

ArahMan7 said...

Lol, my ex knows about the blog I set up for her. It's my way to communicate with her and to tell her what's in my mind. I'm still keeping track of the stats and I know my blog is the first thing she opened up during office hours.

See you around. O btw, came here via Entrecard.

Greetings and lots of love from Malaysia.