Insomnimusing: Allons-y!

Happy Christmas to you all! Or Bah Humbug, if that's your preference. I don't judge. All of my holiday merrymaking, such as it was, happened yesterday. I picked up Book from his dad's house on Wednesday, so we all got up Thursday morning and opened the pathetically tiny little pile of gifts that marks the umemployed single parent. The kids were still very happy and excited. I was hungover myself. I'd spent the previous night up until 5 a.m. (!!!) chatting with a friend of mine and drinking my homemade wine. I'd intended to have one glass, but by 5 a.m. I'd had two and a half very large glasses of very strong wine. Yeow, 9:30 a.m. was NOT pleasant. After we did the thing at home (and I took a Motrin and tried to rehydrate), we all headed over to my mother's house for the Christmas (eve) thing there. I got loaded up with lots of "pamper me" kinds of gifts, which I suppose have to serve as a substitute for the man who's not here to pamper me. The ...

It's an extra special Christmas edition Flashback Friday, with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Herbie the Elf singing, A Couple of Misfits.

I did the whole Christmas shopping thing on Thursday, as I'd promised. While I was at it, I also got the front tires replaced on my car, got an oil change, changed the air filter and got new wiper blades installed. I managed it all in about two hours. That's got to be some kind of record. Of course, the pile of now-wrapped presents looks pitifully small. IS pitifully small, I should say. Oh well, the kids know this year is a slim one. It hasn't really dampened the enthusiasm all that much. I avoided wrapping yesterday. The girls were gone for the night, so it really would have been a perfect opportunity, but I opted to start drinking early instead. By about 10 I was ready for bed. I actually headed there by about 11. Surprise, surprise - I lay awake until about 3 a.m. I think too much. I woke up this morning to the second snow of the season. It looked a bit more serious about it this time. The snow actually stuck all day. Some of it's started to melt, but the temperatur...

In honor of the massive crush I had on him when I was about 7 years old, it's Andy Gibb singing I Just Want to be Your Everything for this week's Flashback Friday.

Despite my best efforts and a hard-fought campaign, it appears that this "Christmas" thing is indeed coming. And it's getting here in .... what? ... nine days?! How did that happen?! Nine days. OK. I can procrastinate a little longer. No, wait. No, I can't. I'll be getting Book on Wednesday, and we'll be doing our whole "Christmas" thing on Thursday. Christmas Eve. So, that's eight days. Seven really. I have to be done by then. Six if I'm realistic, because I kind of need to wrap all that stuff and everything, don't I? So I've got six days. Less than a week. I could do it this weekend...... Yech, that's the last weekend before Christmas. Stores are a nightmare. No thank you!! Well, any other time, I've got the girls. I can't very well take them Christmas shopping for their own gifts with me. So, I guess that means I have to go while they're in school. They're in school right now. But I'm not dressed yet. I slep...

Gin's got one big Christmas wish: She wants a puppy. Specifically, she wants a collie. Unfortunately, I've already had to tell her that's not going to happen. We live in an apartment, and we've already got a cat and a frog. Besides, an apartment is no place for a collie. They need room to run and play. I also know that she's just not up to the responsibility of owning a dog. She can't keep up with the maintenance on her cat - which, fortunately, consists of little more than feeding, watering and scooping out the litter box - so I know she's not up to the requirements of puppy training . If you're considering getting a puppy for Christmas, I advise you to check out the Puppy Training Guide . This clean, simple, user-friendly website is a great starting point for learning all the basic training needs of puppies, as well as learning how to deal with common behavioral issues you might experience. You have to remember: there are few things in life quite so sa...

I don't even know what day it is anymore. I remember waking up this morning about three days ago. I watched the Chelsea game against Everton. I was a 3-3 tie. Very exciting stuff, and I was glad Chelsea was held to just gaining one more point in the Premier League. Then I watched the Man United game. Not good. Well, the game was good, but my boys lost. :( There's another game Tuesday, and it's Wolverhampton, so that's going to be a win. Anyway, that feels like it was about two days ago. I spent the rest of the day at home not doing much at all. Maybe it's weird because it's Saturday, but I didn't get Book today. Doesn't feel like Saturday. Maybe it's because I worked so much this week that I've spent the day catching up on TV shows I'm usually watching over the course of four or five days. Maybe it's just because my sleep has been so lousy again over the past several weeks that my mind's not functioning properly anymore.

Ah, memories! This week's Flashback Friday is from Cutting Crew. It's I Just Died in Your Arms.

It's happened. The evil white, flaky invaders have landed. Yes - I woke up to snow this morning. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but I prefer as much later as I can get. I suppose it's December now, so I can't complain too terribly much - as long as it doesn't get out of hand. By the time I had to drive to the commission meeting for work tonight, the temperature was hovering around freezing, there was a light drizzle falling and a light fog had set in. I feared for the road conditions for the drive home, but it turned out that they weren't bad, yet. It was a good thing, too, because I was in such a rush yesterday that I didn't have time to get my new tires put on the front of my car, and the ones there now are quite bald. Yesterday was Munch's Christmas program at school. I never look forward to those, because it's always a long and miserable experience, but it wasn't so bad this year. They've finally rearranged things so the K-4 student ...

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My friend D recommended a book to me a few days ago called "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. He knows I'm a Taoist, and we've discussed that before, so he said when he read this, he thought it had me "written all over it." Naturally, that intrigued me. I downloaded it Thursday night onto my Blackberry, and I've been rapt ever since. I could definitely see why he thought of me when he read it. By the time I went to sleep last night, I'd gotten through the section on the Third Insight, regarding energy. That really fascinated me. It's very much akin to the concept of chi. I don't remember ever discussing that with D before, and if I haven't, I'm impressed by his own insight. If I have, I'm impressed that he remembered it, because as I said, I don't. Of course, I've discussed various levels and aspects of my life philosophy with many people, so it's probable that many of the specific conversations and courses of...

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Yamaha . All opinions are 100% mine. I love taking my music with me on the road and having it with me wherever I go, but my mobile music has become the real hub of my entire music collection. I don't even have a home stereo system anymore, so when I want to listen to my music at home, I'm still using my mobile option. If you've got all your music on your iPod or iPhone, and you've given up the limitations of the whole home set-up, you can still get the home stereo experience with your mobile music library with the Yamaha PDX-60 . This cool little dock isn't like the others. It connects to your iPod or iPhone wirelessly. So you can sit in your comfy chair with your iPod or iPhone right next to you, while the dock sits on the shelf or wherever you like it sharing your music with the whole room. It also comes with a cradle that charges your iPod or iPhone, as well as a small card type remote control. With the dual cha...

Last night on my way home from the meeting, I stopped for a big cafe mocha to stave off the cold. Seeing as it was after 8 p.m., and I'm an insomniac, this was probably a bad idea. I also started reading a book that was recommended to me by a friend. Also a bad idea for a voracious reader insomniac on top of a big cafe mocha. I was up until 5 a.m. I had to get up at 7. I did manage to get up, and not only that, I stayed up. The crash didn't end up hitting me until late this evening. In the mean time, I got my Internet back, so I got some things done there. My ex's mother called to say he was still in the hospital, but (unfortunately) apparently will live. Gin took off to spend the night at a friend's house, and Munch has decided to have a big bowl of popcorn and watch a movie (since Pooh's also gone and she actually gets control of the television set). Since I got my nap in, I'll curl up with my book again.

I'm going TOTALLY CHEESY with this week's Flashback Friday! It's the theme song from that horrible 80s TV show, The Greatest American Hero!

My internet's been down since last evening, so I am forced to post via e-mail by Blackberry. When oh when will Google give us a Blogger app for Blackberry? Btw, how about a full-size keyboard accessory for the BB? Does that exist yet? I had to work tonight, covering a meeting of the new Liberty Group (a chapter of the Dayton Tea Party). I was pleasantly surprised to find that the speaker's running theme was to cut out the personal attacks and stick to the issues. Too many conservatives have become so vitriolic that they look like a hate group, and I'm becoming ashamed of calling myself conservative again. Tonight's meeting restored some hope for me on that score. (And my support of personal liberty still includes the right of gays to marry - so don't throw stones at me for that conservative label on that issue.) As I was getting into my car for the drive home, I saw .... urgh ... snow. Only a little, but I still don't want it. I have no problem with a brow...

Another week has begun, though I delayed it as long as possible. I got an unexpected extension of my holiday weekend, as my regular Monday night commission meeting was canceled - so I didn't have to work. I actually managed to do quite a lot over the weekend, but I still haven't gotten my new kitchen faucet installed. I really do have to get to that. I didn't have Book this weekend, so the girls and I took advantage of a full Saturday at home. They actually managed to clean their entire room (Munch said, "Wow! It's been a while since we've seen the carpet!"), and we have a mountain of laundry as a result, which is slowly being whittled down. On Sunday, my mother gave me a call asking if the girls and I would like to take a trek back to my hometown for some taco pizza at the place that makes the world's BEST. It was worth the drive of more than an hour, and we also did a little shopping while we were out. We even stopped off to see my long lost cousin a...

Thanksgiving was a quieter event than usual this year. My mother hosted it, like she always does, but rather than having all of her sisters and their children this year, she kept it to just "the kids," meaning me and my stepsiblings and our children. I made the turkey, as usual - and as usual, it was a hit. I use Alton Brown's Good Eats Roast Turkey recipe, which is absolutely the best turkey recipe ever. I even passed it along to a friend this year, and hers was a smashing success as well. She thanked me profusely for that. Always happy to help. I also made a cheesecake, which was the only one of six desserts at the dinner that had no leftovers. I think I'll be recruited to make that one again too. I didn't hear anyone even mention any of the other desserts, but everyone was saying, "Wow, the cheesecake is soooo good!" I don't interact much with my stepsiblings. They're not really my kind of people. We had two tables set up for eating, and they ...

For this Flashback Friday, here's The Cult singing Edie (Ciao Baby)

I spent most of the day as many people did in the country today. I was preparing for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I procrastinated, as usual, so my preparations included a trip to the grocery store today. I got lucky though. It was crowded, but I was patient. I got a decent parking spot, and I had no wait at all for a cashier, so I was in and out pretty quickly. I came home and made a cheesecake, which cracked, unfortunately. I could conceal it with some cherry topping, but it was requested plain, so the flaw will be obvious. I think it'll pass with the family, though. The cherries and chocolate will be served on the side, and I'll probably have quite a bit left to bring home. It'll taste good, so I'm not complaining. I also have the biggest responsibility of the dinner. I'm making the turkey. I first made the turkey four or five years ago, and it went over so well that I've been asked to do it again every year. I use Alton Brown's Good Eats Roast Turkey re...

I'm always looking for a way to save money, so I used the Local Offers Search Engine at Offeretti to find a good deal on services close to my home. Winter's coming, and I need to get my car ready. Right now, that's means I need an oil change, and I'm also going to need new tires. At Offeretti, I found a deal for $10 off an oil change, and I also found a deal to buy three tires and get the fourth one free. And as luck would have it, the same place with the tires has a deal on Offeretti for free starting, charging and battery check, so I can have that done at the same time. It's always a good idea to get that evaluated before the cold Ohio weather sets in. Not bad for a search that took me ten seconds.

I had a meeting to cover tonight. It was about a 45 minute drive to get there, and the meeting lasted about 25 minutes. I love those. On the way there, I had two near-misses with deer on the road. On the way back, I took the normal route instead of the back road, and I'd forgotten that the road was closed at the railroad tracks. So two blocks from my house I had to turn off and make a four-mile detour. When I got home and finished the story, I got a call from Book's dad saying that they'll be going out of town this weekend, so I won't be getting him Saturday. I wonder if I can get rid of the rest of the kids too. Oh well. It doesn't really matter. I've got nothing to do, and no one to do it with anyway.

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I went shopping with my mom today. She wanted to find me some new jeans for Christmas, so we went up to Old Navy, which was the source of my favorite jeans ever (jeans that have since disintegrated, so my wardrobe's been missing a "favorite pair of jeans" for a while now). As luck would have it, I picked out two pairs, tried them on, and they were both a perfect fit. How often does that happen? She got me a new pair of pajama pants too. After that, we hit another store and happened to come across a couple of perfect Christmas gifts for my son Pooh. He's extremely hard to buy for, so we weren't about to pass that up. Stop number 3 was a kitchen store, at which I was able to find a replacement for a recently broken kitchen gadget for $5 less than the previous one I'd bought, and it appears to be of higher quality and more durable than the last one as well. In another store, I bought a new webcam, as the one I have for some reason disconnects me from the internet...

Let's have fun with it. Wild Cherry's Play That Funky Music. :)

This will be my second attempt at a mobile post through my Blackberry (by e-mail). The first one worked, so I'm hoping this one does too. I tried checking Blackberry App World to see if there was a Blogger app available, but that app (BAW) always lags so badly that I got fed up and just restarted my Blackberry. Does anyone know if there is a Blogger app for Blackberry? Anyway, I'm posting this way because my Internet's been down half the night again. It's probably a good thing. I've been spending the past several nights feeding my insomnia by sitting up watching episodes of Ally McBeal online. I'd forgotten how much I liked that show, and since it's been almost ten years since I've seen it, it's like every episode is new. Hell, I'd even forgotten that Billy died - only about the most significant moment in the show's five seasons. I do remember discovering Josh Grobin on the show, and I even remember most of that episode's plot. I have no ...

I'm starting to feel like I did a year and a half ago. I've been in this melancholy for a while now, but it's beginning to feel like a real depression again. The last time it was triggered by the loss of the man I loved more than any man I ever had before. This time I haven't lost anyone, because I haven't had anyone. But I think I know what it is anyway. I think I've begun to lose hope about the one I thought could be. Sometimes I feel really stupid about it. I think about him all the time. For a while I really believed that something could come of it. I know I have this romanticized notion that you can really overcome anything if you love someone enough. And it didn't seem like that insurmountable of a thing. It's only geography. I'm not saying that we had some kind of great love. I just believed that the potential was there. And that it was worth exploring. If nothing came of it, at least we'd know. It's really not all that difficult to ma...

It's a new moon today. It's Monday. I almost missed it, but I couldn't resist it anyway. :)

I was having a dream the other night - I won't get into the details - but as I was waking up a phrase repeated in my head. I thought it sounded like the name of a pretty cool drink. So I got up at 3 a.m., logged onto my computer and looked it up. As far as I could tell, it didn't exist. A concept started developing in my head. What would this drink be? It all came together in my head perfectly. It was a little complicated, but I could work out the details. This is part of my nature. I feel the need to create. It comes out of me in lots of different ways. I used to crochet a lot, because I wanted to make something out of nothing. I found that to be very satisfying, but unfortunately, my joints being what they are, eventually it reached the point that my wrists really couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't crochet more than a few rows before the pain became too much, and I'd find myself either pushing through and causing myself too much pain and then setting it aside fo...

Yesterday, I woke up, and the fog was so thick that I couldn't see the trees in my back yard. I don't mind the fog, but the ground was covered with frost. THAT I definitely didn't like. It means it's getting cold. I don't like cold. Unfortunately, I live in Ohio, where cold is inevitable. I got to go on a little vacation to Florida recently, and I saw a friend there who moved from Ohio to Florida about 10 years ago. I must admit, I begin to envy that when the weather turns. Oh who am I kidding? I envy it anyway. The beaches and palm trees. The fact that there's some kind of life there. I could deal with that. I could spend the day funning and sunning, swimming in the surf or just riding along with someone I love on our custom beach cruisers . That sounds like a whole lot more fun than another winter in Ohio, doesn't it?

It's Friday the 13th. Will that mean anything to you? According to the superstitious, Friday the 13th is bad luck. According to cinemaphiles, Friday the 13th is a series of bad movies. The fear of Friday the 13th is called "paraskevidekatriaphobia." The fear of Friday the 13th movies is called "wussiness." Nah, I'm just kidding. The first one actually wasn't too bad for the genre and the period. I suggest if you're a teensy bit freaked out over the day, have fun with it instead! Thumb your nose at it! Throw a theme party! I do things a little more subtly. I just wear a white cable knit sweater and speak in a slightly breathy voice, warning people not to have sex on the beach. (Hey! Serve those as your drinks for that theme party!)

This week for Flashback Friday, I present to you Mr. Mister's Broken Wings.

Two little fleas meet up to vacation in Florida every year. One year, one of the fleas shows up and he's cold and shivering and miserable. The other flea asks him, "Why are you so cold?" The first flea says, "Man, my trip was awful! I hopped a ride in Jersey, and I've spent the last eighteen hours zipping down the highway in the moustache of some dude on a Harley!" The second flea says, "That's no way to travel! What you do is you go to the airport bar, have a couple of drinks, find yourself some sexy stewardess, crawl up her leg into her panties and nestle yourself down nice and cozy. Trust me, man. That's the way to go!" So the next year the two fleas meet up again, and the one flea is again cold and shivering and miserable. The second flea says, "Why are you cold again? Didn't you take my advice?" The first flea says, "Yeah, I did just what you said. I went to the bar. I had a couple of drinks. I found myself a sexy st...

I got all settled in to work today (or yesterday, I guess, seeing as it's after midnight now), and then it turned out that I didn't have anything on my schedule. Yes, I finally forced myself into motivation to work, and there's nothing for me to do. I've got three stories to do tomorrow though. I wonder if I'll be remotely motivated then. Probably not. I need a real job again. This whole freelancing thing feels so pointless and dead-end. I've been looking, but it is frightening how little is available. And of course, there's nothing in my field at all - at least not anywhere near me. I hate not having any options. I can't go anywhere else right now, because I'm bound by a custody arrangement for my son. That locks me in for the next five years. Not that I could afford to move anywhere anyway. There's quite a cost involved in that. I wish I weren't doing all of this alone.

Isn't it fun? Flashback Friday this week is Stacey Q's Two of Hearts!

The girls didn't have school today, so, naturally, they woke up very early and very loudly, ensuring that I would not be able to sleep in this morning. At least it gave Gin the opportunity to do the chores she avoided last night, because she had plans today to go to a friend's house to spend the night. She left at noon, and Munch and I were left with an afternoon to ourselves. We spent it watching "Chicken Little" then we went out for sushi for dinner. She was in heaven, of course. :) After that I dropped her off to her dad, and I came home to find that Pooh was actually home. Well, he got the sushi leftovers. He did save me a little though. He's a good boy. The rest of my evening is watching a movie and reading a book. It's a quiet one.

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Like a fool, I agreed to help out with the election coverage in the office tonight. It was probably a good thing, too, because I got out of there at midnight, which was half an hour past the copy deadline, and we still didn't have all of the stories in from the people writing them. Hey, I got my three stories done, so I really don't care about the rest. I wasn't responsible for them, and I came through on my end - again, for a newspaper that won't hire me full time (because the company won't authorize any new hires). It's hard not to take a "so what?" attitude with them after a while. I did get to hear a little fun news while I was there. It seems that the fellow who replaced me at my old job will be leaving there soon. I expected he would, but the really sweet part is that he is moving on to something waaaay better (like five times the salary), which is just a sweet little thumb of the nose to the DICK publisher of the paper. I so don't miss it at...

Since Halloween, I've been overindulging in the abundant candy in the house. When I went grocery shopping today, Halloween candy was half price. So, guess what? I bought more. I don't think I've ever had this much candy in the house. It could be dangerous. I've been a little depressed lately, and now I've got a massive supply of chocolate on hand. Oh well, I suppose I lost so much weight that I've got a little room to spare - particularly in all of my jeans. Of course, I've still got the upcoming overindulgence in meat and cheese nibbles for the rest of this month and most of next, along with some fruitcake coming soon as well. Maybe I should watch myself.... but then again, why? Who else is looking anyway? Other high points of the day include my son Book breaking his glasses, me getting a hard rap on the elbow that five hours later still has me wincing whenever I bend it, and getting caught up in a caravan for an opposing school returning home from some spo...

For Flashback Friday, I used to love this one, Toto's I'll Be Over You.

Munch and Gin went out trick or treating tonight with friends, so I stayed home and passed out candy. That was a tremendous waste of time and money, because only eight people showed up after I bought eight pounds of candy to give away. For weeks, Gin had been planning to go out as a piece of paper and Munch was going to go as a pencil, which I thought would have been a really cute pair costume. But two days ago, Gin decided she was going as a soccer player and Munch found Gin's old cheerleading uniform, so she wanted to wear that. Gin's soccer player costume transformed into a bit of a protest that we don't have a soccer team here in our little town, despite the fact that for several years now "they" have been saying that we'd get one set up. It's the perfect sort of town for it. What's holding it up, I have no idea. She got quite a few compliments on it, actually, so I'm not the only one apparently a little annoyed at the fact that it hasn't h...

Well, it appears that my son Pooh and his girlfriend have broken up. I found this out in the same way that I found it out the last time: via his Facebook status. She is on my friend list as well,so I waited to see what would appear on hers. It finally changed, saying only that he is a great man and whatever woman ends up with him will be blessed. "But other than that I don't want to talk about it." I have no idea what might have brought this on, as he has not yet come to me about it. I don't know that he will. Last time they split up, he actually told me - when I asked him about it - that he'd put it on his Facebook status as his way of telling me. Fairly apparent he's done that again, but this time, I would like to see if he comes to me. It's struck me out of the blue much the same as it did last time too. She was here just a couple of days ago, and they were giggling and having fun just as they always do. They made a remarkably good couple, and I've ...

I needed a morale boost today, so naturally I didn't get it. Man United lost - and to LIVERPOOL, no less. Now, I have to go on with my entire day because I have too many things to do, and I can't even wallow. I'll have to wait and wallow tonight. I'm sure the misery will last until then. They are really magnificent at disappointing just when I need them the most. Yeah, they're guys alright... But I still love them.

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This one's timely. For Flashback Friday, I give you Def Leppard's "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad?" Yes, I'll admit. It's a bit pathetic of me. I've taken to heart the advice that I'm probably better off forgetting about the person who's been an endless source of frustration for so long now. But I also receive conflicting advice that he's probably worth the effort to wait out and make an attempt. Much of the conflicting advice is probably because of so many conflicting messages I get from him. And of course, I have the additional problem of the fact that, regardless of what I decide to do, how exactly do I go about doing it? It is as impossible to make oneself not feel something as it is impossible to make someone feel something that they don't. Maybe I just need suffering. Perhaps I'm an artist. :)

My son has posted his new short story online. It's a must read!

I'm so tired lately, and sad, and feeling utterly overwhelmed. How can I get all this work done that I need to do when I have no energy - and no motivation. I am responsible for doing so much work for a paper that won't even hire me as an actual employee. Well, it's not the paper - or the editor - it's the stupid company. So I'm working and working and working for a company that won't give me a job. And I need to find a job, but I have no strength. I have no energy. I just feel like there's a massive hole in my life, and nothing's going right, and I don't even have the will to try because it all seems so hopeless. Top it off that with the fact that I've fallen - far too hard - for someone who can't even begin to consider being with me. And I find myself dwelling on him all the time. He's become more aware of it and has taken to avoiding me, so now I miss the friendship we had as well. It's my own fault - mostly. He'd al...

As some of you know, I do all my TV watching online. It's kind of nice. I watch the shows I want when I want and I'm not a slave to the networks' schedules. I can ignore something for ages and go back and watch when I want, or I can miss something entirely and go back and catch up whenever I feel like it. Well, I'd gotten all caught up on the few shows I normally watch, and I was looking for something else to watch one night recently. I'd heard a lot of buzz, and though I resisted even considering it for quite a while, I finally caved and checked out this new show Glee. One of the things that first struck me in the first episode was when I saw the license plate on the first car shown was an Ohio license plate. Well, that was interesting. We don't have many shows set in Ohio. The Drew Carey Show is the last one I can think of that was really obviously set in Ohio, and Cleveland almost doesn't even count. Sort of like Chicago doesn't really count as Illino...

So where are we? Well, I've been wallowing in this malaise for a little while. Ok, that's been pretty apparent. It's been personal, work and health, all piled into one big mess. I've got to wonder if there's an end to this - ever. I'll skip over the personal and the work. I seem to have set my torpedoes on backfire on those lately, and I just can't rehash it again and again. I very carefully lay my plans then deliberately do the opposite, seeking to fail, it seems, for fear of rejection. The health was a curious thing this weekend. Friday night the girls were spending the night at a friend's house, so I decided to have a couple of drinks at home. After setting off another of those torpedoes I mentioned, I went off to bed early, feeling a little bit of a buzz but really nothing all that significant. About 4 a.m. I suddenly woke up feeling incredibly hot - like I'd been sleeping in a sweat lodge. I was disoriented and felt like I was melting. I went do...

I'm totally cheating on my Flashback Friday and only going back three years. But I LOVE this song, and I'm completely obsessing over it lately. Please enjoy this live version of Paolo Nutini singing "Last Request."

It's a gray, rainy, cold, windy, miserable sort of day. And it seems to be suiting my mood. I have no motivation at the moment, and I'm dwelling on general malaise. I had hoped that my recent trip would have served as a sort of rejuvenator for me, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. It has only highlighted for me what my life is missing. I want to be with someone. I want to be loved and held and appreciated. Iwant someone who will make me laugh, who will make my heart race and make my mouth water, who will challenge me intellectually, who will keep my spirit young... Actually, I know exactly who I want. And he could do all these things. He already does, in fact, though we are an ocean apart. And circumstances seem to be that the geography will always keep us in this situation. He could come here and make me feel all the things I want to feel. Maybe I could even go there sometime, and he could show me all the things he's wanted to show me, and we could do all the t...

Cirque du Soleil has never been your typical circus. It's always been so much more. I remember seeing Cirque du Soleil for the first time on television when I was young. I never knew what to expect, but I knew this was something different. Then when I saw it, I understood. I didn't see a circus before me - I saw a dream. It wasn't comic silliness. It was grace and beauty that seemed to defy the laws of physics. It always had an element of the fun and silliness you expect from the circus. It also had the death-defying feats of human skill - but far beyond the usual tricks and stunts. Cirque du Soleil's latest offering, Banana Shpeel , is their own unique spin on classic vaudeville. The show blends comedy and a variety of dance styles with a hilarious storyline generously sprinkled with slapstick in the tradition of vaudeville shows - but in a way that only Cirque du Soleil can do it. With all of the actors/dancers dressed as the classic (but sophisticated) vaudeville clo...

I returned from my trip to Florida yesterday. I didn't work as I should have, though I did have plenty of time. I was completely unproductive and really did not much of anything at all. I walked around the neighborhood a bit taking pictures of buildings, had a couple of nice dinners and I read a lot of a book I borrowed from my son. It was nice seeing F again, though. After he left, I managed to meet with an old college friend of mine (and son) who lives there, and we spent my last day in town catching up, visiting the beach, and then out on the town to drink, get silly and compare women's sexy shoes. I came home needing a rest from my "vacation," but isn't that always the way it works? Now that it's over, I'll have to put all my focus into finding a job again.

I'm in a brief lull in the day at the moment, but these aren't going to be frequent today. I was up early and ran over to the market for some orange juice this morning, and while I was there I ran into my landlord. He'd stopped by yesterday because our heat isn't working. He said he'd have to send someone over today to look at it. So when I was at the market, he asked if the guy'd been here yet. It was only 9 a.m.! No, of course he hadn't, but that got me thinking the guy might be coming pretty quickly. I already had my day sketched out, so I knew I had to jump in the shower this morning if I was going to get through the rest of the day on time. I raced through that, hoping that the guy wouldn't show up for the furnace while I was in there. He didn't. Now I'm waiting for him. I have a feature story due for the paper on Friday, but I couldn't reach the guy I need to interview until yesterday. He asked if I could come in today at 3, so I have t...

Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasic early '80s for Flashback Friday! Rupert Holmes sings Escape (The Pina Colada Song).

I'm going to be working all day today. I might be looking forward to it if I were getting any kind of financial benefit out of it, but the way unemployment is set up with them deducting 80 percent of your earnings from your benefit check, it seems to be to be a tremendous waste of time. The only advantage in this for me is that I know I will be the person called when a job finally opens on one of the papers. Of course, that might take so long that I'll already have another job by then. One of the old reporters had to have a pacemaker put in on Friday, and I got a panicked phone call asking if I could do his work while he's off. Well, I can do some of it anyway. I'll be working the whole shift in the office tonight. Then I've got to cover the city council meeting for him tomorrow, but I already have another assignment to do tomorrow as well. It's a busy couple of days, and I'll get next to nothing for it except the loss of my time. Perhaps if the old reporter...

For this week's Flashback Friday, it's Paul Young singing Every Time You Go Away. I always loved this one, didn't you?

Tonight was a flashback for me. One of the old reporters at my old paper had to go in to have a pacemaker put in this morning, so I got a frantic phone call yesterday afternoon from the news editor asking if there'd be any way I could come in tonight and help out. She asked me to do the full 1-10 shift, but I told her that I couldn't. I said I'd come in 6-10 instead. So there I was back at the old office, typing in obits and paginating pages again. I haven't done pagination there in almost three years, I think. And there's been a redesign and a change in the story filing system since then. Still, I picked it all back up pretty quickly. I used the story filing system at my last job when I was paginating, and the redesign wasn't really all that complicated. While I was there, the editor came and said, "Look at you! It's like you never left!" I know he wishes I hadn't. I do too. I ended up only having to stay until a little after 9. I'm home h...

Parents traveling with babies have to take special considerations to make sure their babies are safe. To make baby travel safe and easier on parents, there's a website full of tips, as well as the means for baby-safe travel called, simply enough BabySafeTravel.com. Ease your mind and have fun with the kiddies on your next vacation by visiting, here first.

Another lousy birthday's come and gone - or almost gone, anyway. Today consisted of making myself a cup of coffee, going to the BMV to renew my vehicle registrations (not one other person there, so I was in and out in under two minutes - that was the high point of my day), coming home and .... nothing. That's it. I got the usual slew of birthday greetings from a bunch of people on Facebook, thanks to those handy little reminders they post on your home page. Of course, I didn't even get an acknowledgement from several people who are actually supposed to be my "real" friends. D went so far as to actively ignore me. Enough of that one, I think. My mother did take the time to call me on her break at work. My son Pooh gave me his gift last night because he knew he'd be gone all day today at school and work. Honestly, I think I should just stop all recognition of my birthday altogether. It manages to do nothing but bring me down. I couldn't care less about my ag...

I managed to make it to bed at the not-entirely-unreasonable hour of 11 p.m. last night, knowing that I would have to get up at 5 a.m. today in order to get to the office, finish the Troy paper upload to the web site and get back in time to watch the Manchster Derby. All didn't exactly go according to plan. In fact, nothing did. I went to bed at 11 but I was still up at 3 a.m. I was completely exhausted from my 4:30 a.m. day, and yet, I couldn't fall asleep for anything. I did manage to get up and into the office, although I was a bit later than I'd intended. I got there at 6:15 a.m. Still, this would not have been a problem. I'd still have plenty of time to finish the work and get home for the game. Except.... I couldn't log in to the web site. Everything worked perfectly yesterday, and then suddenly this morning, I couldn't log in. I couldn't get past the box in which I had to enter the username and password. It just kept popping back up over and over. I t...

Lose the ugly and find your bliss! Upload your ugly for a chance to win an LG Bliss phone. Check out the gallery of ugly on the LG Bliss Facebook page . We've all got something ugly in our lives we could do without, right? I'd upload a picture of my ex-husband, but I've destroyed most of those. :) You can upload pictures or videos of your ugly stuff, be it old outdated electronics, that awful sweater your aunt gave you for Christmas or the neighbor's nasty dog, and enter for a chance to win a sleek and sexy new LG Bliss phone! When you upload your ugly pic, you're automatically entered to win an LG Bliss, exclusively on the U.S. Cellular network, or a $50 gift card. The contest runs through Nov. 6, 2009. There will be five grand prize winners of a brand new LG Bliss phone and 50 second prize winners of a $50 gift card. You can enter only once per Facebook account, and you must be 18 to enter. So take one last picture of those neon parachute pants before you burn the...

As usual, I couldn't fall asleep last night. Normally, this wouldn't be much of an issue for a Saturday, but this week I was asked to come in at the weekend and do the web uploads for the three newspapers again. So, I was up at 4:30 a.m. I NEVER want to see 4:30 a.m. on Saturday unless I haven't gone to bed yet or I've just rolled over to say, "Let's go again." It's a truly indecent hour. I actually managed to finish far earlier than I expected to, and I was back home by 9 a.m. in time to make myself a third cup of coffee and get Munch up and dressed. Gin came home from her overnight at her friend's house, and we went off to pick up Book for the day. Had lunch at Mom's, and she said her sister's home with hospice care. She said she's doing surprisingly well and has been lucid and receiving visitors. It's still just a matter of time - and a very short time too. Her biopsy came back revealing two kinds of cancer. Mom's just happy ...

I love this one! It's Peter Schilling's Major Tom for Flashback Friday!

Catching up on Top Chef this evening, I have one request: Can I have one of the Voltaggio brothers, please? I haven't had cable in forever, so the few TV shows I watch, I watch online after they've aired. One of my favorites is Top Chef. I've been watching it since the first season, and I've been hooked ever since. Last season, I was a Fabio fan. I'll admit it. I have a weakness for Italians, even the slightly obnoxious and egotistical ones, although the quirky, sweet, romantic ones are better. So I suppose I'm going for the novelty of Americans now. That is a novelty for me lately, it seems. Of course, it's not a real thing. All my "real boy" crushes seem to be from far, far away. Puts a bit of a crimp on my social life. Meaning, it's nonexistent. It works out to some degree sometimes. I did have a pretty good thing going for quite a while with P. He was a Jamaican residing in Canada. And I'll be jetting off to see F again soon when comes ...

My mother's birthday is coming up, and I would love to be able to get her one of the beautiful movado series 800 watches. I never wear a watch myself. I've never seemed to be able to remember to put it on in the morning, but my mom wears hers all the time, and these are just her style. Even though I don't wear watches myself, I have to admit that there were some at bluedial.com that were just the style I'd like to wear - if I could ever remember to put one on. My mom's such a great person, and she deserves something special. But she doesn't like frills. These watches are sharp-looking and completely practical. That's my mom all around. Maybe next year...

I just got a call from my mother. My aunt is dying. She's not expected to last more than a few days at most. She's the youngest of my mother's biological sisters (she was one of five girls, but my grandparents adopted the two daughters of the second oldest when she was killed in a car accident 40 or so years ago). Mom was quite a wreck this weekend, but she's been dealing with this all now long enough that she's at least able to get through sometimes without breaking down. I've said before what an amazing mom my mother is. She's the same with the rest of her family. Always the rock. The strong one. The one you can turn to no matter what. She's been doing that through this too. She told me tonight that my cousin thanked her for always being there for them, and for being there for her through all of this as well. She told me that she told my cousin that she hopes that they will do the same for me when it's her time to go. She said out loud what I'v...

The new season of truTV's Rehab Party at the Hard Rock Hotel has kicked off for another round of WILD, and this season promises that the hottest party in the world's sexiest city will get even hotter, with celebrity performances, more partiers and new Rehab staff members trying to get the hang of this whole crazy, chaotic spectacle! The partying is intense, but the business is serious, as staff members have to work not only to keep some kind of control but also to keep Rehab as the biggest and best party on the strip to compete with neighboring pool parties in this tough economy. I have to tell you, I went to Vegas this year, but I wasn't part of anything like this! No yard-long drinks, puking in the potted plants or waking up next to a stranger for me! (Although, I might admit that I miss that life .... just a little....) I haven't been to a hot party in a long, long time, so TruTV's "Real life television" is a way to live vicariously. This is "real...